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I cannot lie to myself anymore
I've been through this too many times before
And although I know its true
I hold back the fact
That I still love you

I hate myself for not hating you
For caring too much about everything you do
Still remembering what you've done to me
For some reason, doesn't change anything

You promised me that forever
We would always be together
Now every night I dream of you
Wishing that what you promised was true

I miss the way
You made me feel
How you could make me laugh
And even how you made me cry

I wish for just one more time
You could just hold me
Look in my eyes
And say that you love me too

Go Away!
Why don't you just
Leave me alone
I don't want to talk about it
I never did
You keep asking
If there is anything wrong
If you really want to know the answer
The answer is yes
Everything is wrong with me
My life has corrupted
And you won't leave me
You continue to ask
And care too much
I don't want you to care
Or anyone else
Because it's all fake
You all never cared
It's all a lie
Because every time
I depend on someone
They hurt me in some way
There is no way
You are any different
Then all the rest
So just go away!

You look at me
You see me laugh
You assume I'm happy
But you don't know
Under that laugh
Is a dieing soul
Lost in the world
With no way of returning
Look behind my mask
Of smiling, joyful laughter
And what do you see
But something unexpected
You will find a hurt and sad person
Who has seen too much
An untrusting, cruel life
And a broken heart
Memories of horrible sights
I would rather not see
You will find
Someone you would think was not me
Crying for help
With no response

I go through each day
Carefully choosing everything I say
Hoping that I am not ignored
Hoping that people aren't lieing to me
Just like before
Though I seem happy on the outside
On the inside I'm lost
Not knowing if the people surrounding me
Are really there for me
Or there to stab me in the back
If they really do care
Or if they couldn't care less
That I exist
Once I believed
That people could be trusted
That people had a heart
But now that's all over
Though it should of been
Right from the start
My own stupidity caused my life
To turn around and change completely
Who knew one person
Could change your life like that
And make you understand how people really can be
That not all people care like they say
And will lie straight to your face
Just as long as they get
What they want
And it makes them happy
To hell with everyone else
It doesn't matter
They will tell you what
They think you want to hear
Make you have tons of false beliefs
Then after a while
Tell you they were all lies
And walk away as if nothing is wrong
So I look around me
At the people that are there
Wondering if they are all lieing
Or that they really care
I will expect the worst
Until I find the answer

She slowly closed her eyes
She thought it was right
That she would say her goodbyes
And decease that night

Nobody cares
If she were alive or dead
Quietly she glares
Those were the thoughts in her head

She thought it was right
That there was no other way
And after that night
She wouldn't see another day

There was no one to help her
To stop this from taking place
It was unexpected to occur
As they never seen the tears on her face

In her hand she held a knife
She thought she wouldn't be missed
She took away her own life
Blood trickling down her wrist

And for her that was the end
She saw her last glimpse of light
For her thoughts would not mend
She had deceased that night