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What Follows . .
What follows is an Account of One Stressed, Cardiac-Troubled, Computerless Heroine's Epic Battle with the Vile and Evil Morse Hall Snack Machine:
..It wouldn't give me my fruit snack.
That was all I wanted. After staying up until dawn the night before worrying about what I'd do after college. "What if I somehow manage to flunk out? How could I deal? What would I do?" All I needed in that moment in the morning to make me feel better was to sit quietly in my room with a snack and a soda and watch tv. (Great strategy to lose weight eh? Goes great coupled with sitting on my a** in the computer lab six hours a day)
I was also pmsing. That ******** machine did NOT want to mess with me.
I put in the correct change and watched the little metal spiral spin to release the gummy goodness.... and stop with it dangling halfway out.
"...What the ********? U.U"
That was when I went a little crazy. I tried to reach into the machine to grab it because it was on the bottom row..... and apparently it had a little blocker so losers who didn't have the money couldn't steal stuff.
..Okay, so I was one of them. But I put the correct change in this time dammit!! ><
That was when I tried to shake the machine like they do in the movies. But damn my strength, it was so heavy I could only push it up two milimeters.
Angrily I paced the snack room and took a sip of my drink. Time for some action. I'd show that stupid thing.
It looked as if there were now two snack that would drop if I put the money in. So I wouldn't be losing anything if I put some money in again. Determined not to let the machine win I carefully put in my dimes and nickels and watched the spiral slowly release... and STOP WITH THREE SNACKS TRAPPED INSIDE!!
"AUGH!!" I kicked the machine and managed to hurt my foot, shouting a few expletives and hoping there WAS a tour group around that they were lying to about how great a school this was. "Stupid mother f*cking piece of sh!t!! AUUUUGGHHH!!!"
.... I never said I had a great temper.
Grimacing at the thing which just shined placidly back I furiously took out my wallet AGAIN and threw in the change. I watched coldly, daring the machine to try to ******** with my head again.
"That's right you little b***h.. you'd better ******** not.."
And low and behold four snacks finally fell for the price of three.
"^^!" (*easily satisfied*) I grabbed them quickly as if the possessed machine could suck them back up and trotted upstairs to my room victorious. "That's right ^^ I win! I am better than the machines!! They hold no power over me!"
..I then proceded to space out in front of the television. Victorious.
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