|
|
|
Updates.
Life.
Family: My mom's quit drinking for almost six months now and our home is a lot more stable now. She's just a little bitchy sometimes, but I'm willing to put up with it. She and Craig also have officially become engaged as of this past Halloween. <3. Craig is awesome, and I really look forward to calling him Dad when the day comes. As for my sister, this is her last year in high school and in the house, so I'm "eh" about the whole situation, yet at the same time just enjoying spending time with her. Kris has also grown on me, and being a big sister isn't too bad after all.
School: I'm a sophmore now, woo. I like all my classes, but this year I've gone for drama instead of art. I idolize the show Who's Line is it Anyway? and one of my dreams is to get into improvising. So far I've opened up a lot compared to the beginning of the year, and I look forward to the One Act play coming up. Our last play the school had was Tartuffe, and even if it was iffy I was on the props crew and experienced the most random moments of my life. Fwee.
Japanese: I'm in my second year now and I'm more determined than ever to learn everything I can. So far I've memorized most of the basics, sentence format/particles, hiragana, katakana, and I'm even getting better at kanji. I like how my name is written. :3 New name: Yayoi - 弥生 Old name: Ren - 蓮 What's really exciting is that I might get to go to Japan this summer. Apparently there's this program where if you have a 3.0GPA or higher, meet certain qualifications, and your application's approved, then you get to go for 10 days and they pay for everything but pocket money. At the end you're supposed to give a presentation of what you saw, but that doesn't worry me. Still, going to Japan for basically nothing is a chance of a lifetime. I'm gonna make the best application evarrr. I'm also thinking of college and there's this one I know of that would let me go to Osaka. Sooo excited. <3.
Music: I've become utterly, hopelessly obsessed with the Visual Kei Jrock group: ガゼットthe GazettE. I fooking love them. <3333(xinfinity). Oh. And I've actually been going to more concerts now, including my first MSI one. That was really something to remember. xD
Videogames: I got KHII and was playing it 'till I beat it. Awesome game, but they could've taken more time on doing certain parts. But AXEL! T__T ....-sniffle- Otherwise Kris got me hooked on Sims2. That's something that consumes your life xD. Ooooo. And Indigo Prophecy is an awesome game. You should play it. Now.
Anime/Manga: I've decided my favorite anime will always be my original first: Tenchi Muyo/Universe. It's just too awesome. I've been into more manga recently. I'm still a Furuba fan, but Gravitation has a special place in my heart. It's so funny! ...Meh. I couldn't go to Neko Con this year either, but no worries. I'll definitely go next year since now I know what I want to be and how much money to save. ^-^;
Myspace: I quit. That site consumes your life too much and turns even the shyist of people into attention whores. Meh. Don't want to continue on with it. If someone wants to talk to me, then they can do it here, or call or email me.
- - -
Love.
Now for the touchy subject - my orrientation. Whether consciously or not, I've realized I'm a major hyprocrite. Before I was bi-curious, then bi, then suddenly lesbian, then back to bi, and then just where I am now with unsure. I've reached a point where I avoid the subject as much as possible and now I hang out with whoever, despite their gender. Nature will have its way with me, but for now I've realized that I prefer women. I joke around with guys, even act like them sometimes, but I'm just not physically attracted to them. In fact, the only thing that confuses me is that when I get close to some and think they're cool, I think I might like them. It's irritating, but I've learned to be myself and go with the flow. Surprisingly, this has led people to thinking the wrong way, but then again I do overexpress my affection with hugs and whatnot. Can't help it!
...
The most confusing thing right now is a guy actually did ask me out. And I think I like him, but at the same time whenever I was around him before I just thought he was cool and joked with him; no more. But now it's different. Argggh. I'm just going to ask to be his friend since I hardly see him at all, but maybe if I hang out with him more I'll know for sure. He really is a nice guy. There's a difference between content and happy in relationships though, so if it doesn't feel right I'll just continue being his friend...and maybe someday get a girlfriend. There are opportunities awaiting, so I'm just going to find the one that fits no matter what they are. Boy or girl. White or purple. x3
11/25/06: My sister and two of her gay friends threw an intervention on me tonight and questioned what I think I really am. I'm still pretty confused, but they opened my eyes to a few things. For one, if I'm in the situation where I think I like a guy the first thing I mention is their personality. I didn't think it was a big deal, but apparently it is since I do the opposite for girls. And another, it's hard for me to describe what makes a cute/hot guy. It's really awkward, but eh. I still don't know. Seeing those two (the guys) together all this time makes me happy for them, yet at the same time a tad lonely. Why do girls have to be so straight? .. n-n
Now: Although I still have no girlfriend or experience besides a two-day Valentine (long story), I'm now confident in my beliefs of being lesbian. What's better is that my whole family (mom's side) knows now, Craig, and even his mother. My gramps and grandma haven't brought it up, but now at least I don't have to walk on egg shells around them. I'd rather be all the way out of the closet instead of clinging to the doorknob, and now I'm finally free. Alas, still no girlfriend, but I won't give up!
You'll be grateful to know I do less family rants now, and usually only rant when I'm being dramatic or over little things like why my shoe laces are untied. Rawr.
Anywho. No more blabbing. There's an entry on my other journal with a lot of fun stuff about moi. Any questions? Just ask. Fwee. I love typing in Japanese!
じゃね.
.p a n i c. · Sat Nov 25, 2006 @ 03:51am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|