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The best of times... the worst of times. |
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"For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism."
For every gain, a sacrifice. Congratulate me, I got the job I wanted and I start soon; it's going to help me be on my way to what I want to do with my life. Pity me, I'm doing this all alone and have no one to share it with. Envy me, I'm 22 years old and know exactly what I want to do and how I'm going to get there, and I'll be successful. Patronize me, for I shall be doing so mostly by myself and have no one to appreciate it other than me, (*pats self on head* "You go have fun with that..." wink . Decieve me, tell me that a lot of people would want to be with me, even you would if it weren't for that one circumstance that convieniently prevents you from actually attempting the situation. Console me, tell me that one day I'll find someone who'll be perfect and I'll be happy. Lie to me, tell me that if it weren't for this or that, you'd surely be that person. Praise me, tell me all the wonderful qualities I have and how you admire everything I am about and stand for. Leave me, and go and be with what you want anyways, even if it's nothing.
Even though you say nothing is better than me, you seem to think nothing is better than me.
Zeuromus · Fri Sep 02, 2005 @ 04:59am · 2 Comments |
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I'm forcing myself to do this... |
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To tell the truth, I just haven't felt like writing the past few days... not here, not in the guild, not in my LiveJournal... nothing. I really haven't been feeling very good. Emotions have kinda started to overtake my normal happy-go-lucky demeanor. I just wish that I could be happy again, and it wouldn't have to cost someone elses happiness. I wish I could be 'easy' for someone. It seems like everyone that wants to get close to me is required to fight some outside source of resistance in order to be able to be with me, and I haven't found anyone strong enough to do that yet. They all try for a little while, then give up when it becomes 'too hard'. I can't blame them... it's not like I have anything spectacular and wonderful to offer them other than my love, loyalty, and affection. I just feel like if I were rich, or like, gorgeous... then some girl will go that extra mile for me. They'll beat whatever it is that's keeping them from me. But then it won't be for me... but I wouldn't know the difference I suppose, I'd still be happy.
I just miss her so much.
Zeuromus · Thu Aug 25, 2005 @ 10:29pm · 0 Comments |
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Ah... today was indeed a very good day.
-Z
Zeuromus · Mon Aug 08, 2005 @ 09:39am · 0 Comments |
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So all that gold I got... I started my guild with.
'The Philosopher's Sanctuary'
Hope all goes well.
Zeuromus · Fri Jul 29, 2005 @ 07:19am · 1 Comments |
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Amazing... I put up my two Solar Headdresses and Lunar Cowls (neither of which I liked) up for sale for 5000g a piece, and they went inside 20 minutes. Now I have 20,193... wow...
Zeuromus · Fri Jul 29, 2005 @ 03:02am · 0 Comments |
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I hate not being able to sleep. |
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____________________________________
It's becoming quite frustrating. I can't even do anything productive with my time like laundry at the risk of waking up the people I live with. Fantastic. I suppose I'll bounce around here for a bit longer. I need to get out of the house tomorrow for sure.
On a positive note, I'm about 60% done with my guitar rendition of:
"The Place I'll Return to Someday"
... from Final Fantasy IX. It's turning out like nothing I've ever done. It's very true to the sheet music (which I'm still learning how to read) and the rhythm is sound almost robotic-like in it's staccatoness, and the lead is very flowy and legato. Should be interesting when I mix it down and throw some filters over it to clean it up a bit.
I just ordered my keyboard stand tonight (I like ordering things at night, because I usually forget I ordered them, then they show up, it's like Christmas!) so I'll be able to hook up my keyboard again and do some MIDI recordings once I get my soundcard all re-installed. I wanna try my hands (literally) at a few Uematsu pieces, like "To Zanarkand" and finally get good at and record "Tifa's Theme" from FFVII. Whew... so much work. I'm thinking about in a few months reformatting this computer and turning it nothing but a 'Music Workstation'. Since I really don't play games (unless you count Gaia) anymore. Thanks to my less than stellar wireless internet connection, I can't really MMORPG anymore... which sucks, cause I miss CoH (City of Heroes) and GW (Guild Wars). Thankfully CoH hasn't done any HUGE updates recently to make me truly mad that I can't play it... but when CoV (City of Villians) comes out... as long as they don't charge a seperate subscription fee, I will get back into it for sure.
Hopefully I'll get this new job I really want... it should be fairly high-paying and has good ties into what I want to do for my career (music composer). Wish me luck!! Then I should be able to afford my own internet connection in my room, which will make me a very happy boy.
-EDIT- Allright!!! Totally new costume for my Avi, and new ID card to match!
Take care for now!
Zeuromus · Wed Jul 27, 2005 @ 11:52am · 3 Comments |
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Becoming steadily more active here... and enjoying it. Gold isn't so much of a focus for me anymore, not to say my eye doesn't occasionally wander up to see how much I have. But still, I'm having fun otherwise.
Zeuromus · Wed Jul 20, 2005 @ 10:18pm · 2 Comments |
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So there you go... my first usercard.
I think it turned out pretty spiffy... too bad I had to really shorten my quote to figure it out.
Zeuromus · Wed Jul 20, 2005 @ 03:08am · 0 Comments |
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