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SO, yeah...I'm pretty much on auto-pilot right now...otherwise I'll have to think, and then I'll think abotu today and then I;ll get really pissed and really sad...kinda like I am as I'm typing this. Drew won the drama club election and Jake dropped out of the race for treasuretary...so dram is completely monopolized by drew-worshippers...Drew and Kae are co-presidents, Cyndy is Vice and Stephi is Treasuretary. And then Drew has the audacity to try and hug me afterward. Don't get me wrong, I'm not offended by this because I'm a sore loser, but because he's been pretending to be my friend for the past 4 or 5 years...
AAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDD now I'm crying, this is great.
I still can't believe that Kae ran against me...I thought she knew how much I wanted this. This was my last chance to make a difference, to actually feel like I'm worth something for once....and she took it away from me. I really don't care if she sees this, I could never say any of this to her face, but I don't care if she knows 'cause she'll probably figure it out when she sees I can't talk to her without crying.
Bri came up to me right before she left the meeting and told me to cheer up because "I'm an inspiration to alot of people." Well, I'd sure as hell liek to know who they are, 'cause I don't really feel liek anyone particularly likes or respects me within drama club or any other venue (certainly not in Hi-Liners).
I have about 4 people that I really feel like I can count on right now...and 2 of them I very rarely get to talk to. So, in short life kind of sucks right now and I'm on the verge of giving up......not suicide or anything, I'm just not going to try anymore. Because I never succeed and I don't think I can deal with anymore failure for a while.
If you don't have hope...it can't be crushed
 SerenityBrowncoat · Fri Jun 16, 2006 @ 07:08am · 1 Comments |
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Unrequited Love
Seven months have gone
And still I can't shake this feeling.
I thought that it might have withdrawn,
But he still has my heart reeling.
With the way he acts around me,
Sometimes I think...
But no, his heart belong to tea.
It belongs to a drink.
He's always so happy to see me,
Greets me with a hug.
But to his heart, there is no key.
And in mine, a hole is dug.
He tells me I am loved.
But not in the way I want,
And so into the closet it will be shoved,
My heart to forever haunt.
A REALLY bad poem I just wrote, I almost posted it on da....but then He'd be able to see it.
SerenityBrowncoat · Tue Oct 04, 2005 @ 05:49am · 6 Comments |
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biggrin Yay! I missed Smiley Joe, but now I get to see him once a week and get lots of hugs *does a happy dance* I have an audition tomorrow after school, so I'm not going to Select, caused then I'd be too tired for the audition. I'm so glad we actually get to do a musical in drama this year...AND we're having a Masquerade Ball (my idea) near Halloween. Drama's really packed this year, lots of freshman. But a few of them are ok, so I'll tell Bibbitty-Bob, my blue, freshman-eating, kitten to leave them alone. We're probably gonna do a straight play, possibly sideshow, Masquerade, and musical this year...it's gonna be great.
SerenityBrowncoat · Thu Sep 22, 2005 @ 12:22am · 3 Comments |
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I'm home all alone...have been since yesterday. I'm bored stiff and running out of reading material, I could drive to the library and get some new books...or I could go to the mall and buy a couple new Fushigi Yugis but I don't feel like getting dressed. We move into the PAC late next week (that's this coming week) I can't wait for school to start, though it means I have to write an essay xp , I miss Rintha and Smiley Joe (though I wont get to see him until drama starts). I think Rosey's wedding was this weekend (it might be next weekend), but I'm not sure...I'll ask Tristan or Casey or Mick tomorrow. Tina starts college on the 29th...I should send her an email on of these days...
SerenityBrowncoat · Sun Aug 21, 2005 @ 07:42pm · 4 Comments |
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*blink* I have muscles...............................at least, I have stomach muscles. Krystle's a slave-driver (I love you Krystle!) 20 push ups, 40 sit ups, core, and tons of painful stretching every day...not to mention jumping jacks while singing Row-Row-Row Your Boat 15 times! But now my stomach is harder than Chelsey's and she actually plays sports. AND my posture's improved a ton...and it's only been a week!!! Poor Lee though, he can't even stand 10 seconds of core. I love being a Jet, but there is no way in hell that I am cutting my hair!
SerenityBrowncoat · Mon Aug 01, 2005 @ 06:51am · 3 Comments |
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I'm in desperate need of a bookself, I've gotten 8 new books in the last week....J.K. ROWLING MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! scream
SerenityBrowncoat · Fri Jul 22, 2005 @ 03:29am · 1 Comments |
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Life is boring...start rehersal next week, haven't talked to anyone but my neighbor for weeks..............I MISS RINTHA!!! crying
SerenityBrowncoat · Fri Jul 22, 2005 @ 02:38am · 4 Comments |
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