So today I come to this journal after four years, read the TOTAL CRAP I had for entries here. Every single one of them save one was all about "him". I understand that my feelings at that time were very strong and real to me, but today I am in such a place that I was able to delete them all and leave the most special one, because I don't need to remember that pain, to relive the nightmare I put myself in back then. We've all moved on, and while I'm sure that's part of what has Jay so upset lately, I for one think my life is better for extricating myself from that darkness and bullshit.
So my Angel...as a sign of my commitment to you, to our relationship, to the love I feel for you, I'm starting anew. Deleted all of the posts ranting and raving about something neither one of us need to remember. While it's good to see how far we've come, there are just some things I don't want to keep around, lest I get dragged down in heavy feelings again.
If only I knew how to get through your shell lately though babe. If only I knew exactly the right words, or gestures to break the glass bottle and bring you out again. I don't know what happened, what I can do, but I am determined to get you back. The man who was, who has been slowly slipping away. Just let me in, please? I love you Angel, my hero, my love.
Atkasha · Thu Jan 02, 2014 @ 04:17pm · 0 Comments |