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I blamed myself, I have her blood on my hands. Have a lot of blood on my hands from thousands of people across thousands of escapes lands. But now hers, hers I don’t want to live with. I kill out of self defense and self defense alone, but I would much rather have died then kill her. I wish I didn’t, oh how I wish I could go back and stop the bullet from leaving that chamber. How I wish I could have just not pulled the trigger, but I didn’t. I how do you live with murdering a person you love? Do you burry it under your cold dead heart? Do pray for forgiveness even though you don’t dissever an once of it? I ask my self this every time I cry myself to sleep at night. I stay up for hours on end thinking about what I did or what I could have done different if I had the chance. I think if only, if only, but just before I go to sleep every night I come to the realization. She’s gone, she’s gone and you killed her. And she is never coming back. This story is not about redemption of a man trying to be forgiven. This is about a man trying not to for get but to remember. Remember that I must not fail, that I must fight for her. And one day die, I hope that it comes soon that day. So I can go to hell and get it over with.
The Digital Plains
Part 2 From Hero to Legend 
After everything I’ve been threw. After all those battles dead friends and lost worlds, seeing terrible and greatly fanatic things. After being dead myself, and coming back. After all that and a hell of a lot more, I see that I’ve changed a lot in some ways and in others I’ve just stayed the same. More than a year ago I was lazy didn’t do anything, just laid around my old log cabin sleeping. And you know what; I’m still that way today. Something’s will just never change no matter how hard you try. I was lying in my bed; it was 7 o’clock in the morning when my alarm went off. My house computer system has always been a d**k. Ever since I was "forced" to get the stupid thing, It wouldn’t let me go back to sleep, it just kept beeping away at me! “Alright shut the hell up you bustard!!!!” It stopped beeping for a moment, but as stuck the pillow over my head it started again. The dam thing was evil; it wasn’t going to rest until I was up and going to school. When I “ran off” last year, the Haven government started keeping a closer eye on me. I lived alone no parents or anything, so they just built this thingy! To make sure I did what I was told like a good 16 year old boy. “FINE!!!! JUST SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!” I sat up and threw my pillow at the alarm that was built into the wall on the other side of the room. (I did try to remove it, it only beeped louder!) I got up slowly and hoped in the shower, I felt like crap. Yawning every five seconds or so. It was a Monday; I didn’t want to do anything at all. Just sit and watch TV, is that so much to asked!? After I washed up, I got dressed and walked down the stairs, into my kittenish. The only good thing about having a computer in your home is that I never have to cook again. The thing had this large microwave “thing” that could make anything you want, and I mean any food you could ever dream. I told it to make me the best god dam soup I man could dream of, and there it was! It was so nice I recall asking for another. After a bit however my computer started beeping at me again, it was like a sonic boom, I had to cover my ears! The walls started to shake. It was so ******** loud the next town would have heard it! It wanted me to go to school; I had to run out of the house, to stop my ears from ringing. “Dear god! GO DIE YOU b***h!!!!” I yelled at it for about a minute, throwing rocks at my own cabin, before the out door alarm went off!!! That one hurts a lot, I got on my knees at one point begging it to stop hurting me! Yeah I’m pathetic I got my a** kick by a log cabin! “Ok stop you win!!!” I whinnied as I ran off, back pack in hand. I live deep in the country of Haven; in a small patch of woods where my town is build in. I had to walk about a half mile onto a trail threw some woods to get to school. I guess now that I think back, I didn’t really mind the walk, I had my walkman, and I was listening to some rock and roll, from earth in the 2000 days. Way before the great down load. I love this walkman thingy, it’s a cell phone, video player, everything! It’s perfect for a lazy kid like me. I wasn’t walking alone; all other kids had to walk the same path from their home. The path is kind like the main street, the town it self is only about has big as the woods we all live in. About five or so miles, then their just farm land for miles. So their really isn’t any need for cars or buses in town. The kids were you know hoarsening around, or studying, or like me just listening to their tones. Some were cool, and some were just odd. (I guess I’m one of the odd ones?) Any who when I got the school I was expecting it to be a pretty normal, boring a** day. Oh boy was I in for a kick in the face later on! (I mean it I will get kicked in the face!) “Hey, hey theirs my white haired bro!!!” It was an old buddy of mine James, he a bit on the annoying side. “Hey James…” I said softy, all the yelling and screaming at my house made me even more tired. And I really didn’t want to deal with James. He talks so much about nothing, just nothing of any real impotents, just talks. I want to cut out his voice box sometimes, so he just shut up. “Hey man you never did tell me how you turned your hair white, and now that I think about it your finger nails are white and your eyes dude where you get that done? I’ve asked around and no one can finger out how you changed your digital coding like that” He asked putting his arm around my shoulder. “You have to do a lot man…” I said in a yawn pushing his arm off my shoulder. “What? Come on man please tell me, I’m thinking blue hair and bright yellow eyes” James said in his big dumb smile. He was just trying to be funny; I had known him since from the orphanage. I showed up their when I was about five or six, I think. I really don’t know much more than that. “Trust me you wouldn’t do it” I said, playing around, putting my arms behind my head, and leaning back slightly to crake my back. “No really Tai… (Tai is my name)… tell me!” He said jumping in front of me. Stopping me from walking any feather, he was looking more serious this time. So not wanting to “upset him” I told him the truth. “First here’s what you do, you have to die in a noble self sacrifice. It helps if it’s as painful as possible! Than if these guys in white robes, that look like monks. Think you had the most noble and did I say painful! Than after all that carp they send you back as one of their “ warriors of light” where you have to defend truth justice and all that good stuff until the day you die. Sounds easy right!?” He shook his head, he looked so pissed! He flipped me off and than walked away threw the front doors of the school. I chuckled lightly as I saw him take off. “ Guess truth was a bit much for him…” I said under my breath still laughing. I started walking and went into school. It’s like all the schools in Haven, just smaller, but just as high tech. The school has three floors, it has everything. From computers that can down load s**t into your brain. Lockers that open them self’s when they see you, whole text books inside one little note pad thingy, and of course teachers. I wish that human teachers weren’t around anymore, robot teacher are so much easier to mess around with. And of course more fun! I went up to the last floor and walked into my first period history class, when I got their James was already in his seat. Right in front of my own, talking to some other guy. I seat down and James gave me a high five. He just wanted me to know we were cool. I nodded my head and laid my head on the desk. We had about ten minuets before class and all I wanted to do was catch some Zs.
Than like he always does James woke me up. He shook my arms until I pick my head up. I saw him turned around in his chair.
“ W-what…” I said in a pissed off tone.
“ Look, look man theirs a new girl…” James said with a dumb smirk on his face. I knew what was on his mind, and it was to hock me up with her. This would be the 10th time in one year, it was becoming regular thing now.
“ So… go away leave me be” I said slamming and head back between my arms, closing my eyes tight. Trying to block him out, I should have known James wouldn’t give up.
“ Come on white haired bro…just take a look at her man!” He said pulling on my sleeve. I picked my head up slightly to take a quick look. He pointed at the girl she was all the way in the front room the middle row. The lights in the room were blinding to a guy who had been sleeping for ten minuets. When my eye adjusted a got a good look at her. She look very lovely now that I think back. She had the whole school girl outfit, the gray jacket, black shirt the works. She has long blond hair, very bright as hell I almost thought it was white like mine. She was a nerd though I look tell she has a small laptop, no brain interface oddly. She was doing it the old fashion way by typing. I could also tell by way her face was almost touching the screen. She was in a trance, it freaked me out a bit. Her skin was very pail.
Her fingers were moving at a million miles a second, working on something. Her face was cute, short, she was Caucasian, and did I say very pail. Never the less she did seem to be worth my time. She did have a nice innocents to her that was very attractive. However I was done dating so I slammed my head right back between my arms. She was just another kid that own her life to me in this world, but of course I didn’t see it then. She would have a large roll to play in the events to come late on.
After what left like years of boredom, school was done and I headed right home. I almost ran their to make sure that James wouldn’t drag me around looking for girls. Don’t get me wrong though I like girls, I like them a lot! However something happened and I’m not ready to play the dating game. and maybe I never will. I got home and went right back to bed. Throwing off my school dress shirt, leaving only my under shirt. I kicking off my tight back uniform shoes. I dumped myself on my couch in front of my hallow screen. It was left on, projecting out the weather. I remember it saying that it would remain cool, and that they would not send rain in for another few weeks. I pick up my remote and turning off the projection, and turning on my radio listening to good old rock again. Lying my head on the arm of the couch.
As soon as I fell asleep I had a god dam nightmare! Death, blood, people dieing, burning in blazing fire. Images of the face’s, of the lives I had taken. I felt myself over taken by them, I felt like I was becoming the hell I was dreaming. I have no doubt I was tossing and turning, cause when I snapped out of it. I was face down on the cold wooden floor, I was only asleep for a few minuets, but that’s all it took for my nightmare’s to kick in. I slowly started to pick my self up again.
“s**t….” I said in a sigh, I had forgotten to take my pills when I got home. I was covered in sweat, I headed for the kitchen. Their on the counter I found about 30, or 40 little blue and white pills. My head was throbbing, my eyes burning. I needed one bad, I went over and shoved one down my throat. Right away I felt better my mind started to clam down, and my heart rate dropped.
“Ahh…much better lets try this again.” I said to my self, jumping back on my couch. After a moment or two someone came knocking on my door. I jumped thinking I was dreaming again, screaming as I fell off my couch again . I slowly got to my feet shaking my head, cursing at the door.
“ Alright one second!!!” I yelled out stumbling toward the door as I heard the knock again. I grabbed the door knob and turned it opening the door.
“ James I’m only going to yell you to go piss off…umm …h-hello…” It was the cute Nerdy girl from before, not wearing the school uniform now. She had on a long sleeved light blue sweater, and a long black shirk. Needless to say I was a bit shocked to see her here.
“ Umm…sorry thought you were an jerk I know…umm can I help you…?” She didn’t say anything, she looked away from me. Her face went bright red, blushing. I rolled my eyes back as I saw the make up on her face. James that a** whole! He must have said something to her at school, when I wasn’t looking. Must have told her I was interested in her. She most likely had never been on a date in her life, and jugging by the way her knee were shaking I was right.
“ Look did James put you up to this?” I asked making sure. She nodded her head, shyly.
“ Look… I’m sorry I’m not looking to go out with anyone girl at all right now.” She looked down at the ground and turning away. She looked so upset, more so cause she was tricked I’ll bet. I closed my door. In the old days I wouldn’t have cared, but the dam little voice in the back of my head made me feel really bad for her. It wasn’t her fault this happened she should just take her out. I hate that dam voice!!! I slammed my head into the door after I closed it. In my heart I knew I couldn’t leave the poor girl out in the cold like that. I was pissed at the fact I had to do something about it.
“ Dam…” I said opening the door again, she was a few feet away walking with her head still down. I couldn’t just leave her hanging like that and anyway it would get James off my back.
“ Hey wait a sec!” I called out running over to her.
“ Your not a beer person right?” She looked at me for a second before nodding no.
“ Smoking I’ll bet too right?” Again she nodded no.
“ And you don’t like going up high or going any faster the 20 miles per hour I take it?” She nodded once more no.
“ One sec..” I quickly walked back inside and put my school shirt back on, not evening taking the time buttoning it. I wet to my back door to get an old warn pear sandals. Walking back threw the front door I went up to her, lightly put my arm around her should, walking with her.
“ Ok then I know just the place than, tell me do you like pizza? She nodded her head yes. Still being very quite.
“ Cool, what do you like on it, I love putting on the little fishes. Man their good, one time I had like 100 on one pie. That’s a lot and I ate the whole dam thing it was so god dam good, let me tell you! You like anchovies?” Sadly she nodded no.
“ Oh you don’t know what your missing!!!” After talking a lot to try to break the ice I walked her over at a pizza shop that was just outside of town. All the kids go their, they make the best pies anywhere. And boy do they make them fast, let me tell you! When we got their a few minuets later. We found our self’s a spot to sit and we just talked and ate the best pizza ever! I did most of the talking though she was the shiest girl id ever met in my life. She hardly touched her food. I guess it was all very new to her, that and even though I know I’m a good date, I can act…. odd.
James came, looking threw the front door window. I had a feeling he’d find me here. I like I said all the kids come here, so I knew he would find me. This place has been around ever seen the great download where after the horrible Nuclear war some loaded them self’s into a large super computer. The computer created a virtual environment for the people to live in. What folks of my home don’t know is that there is more than one virtual environment. No one here (but me) knows about this in our digital plain, and I intend to keep it that way. Anyway like I said he saw me and gave me a thumbs up, with a large dumb a** smile on his face. All I wanted to do at the moment was to push him into a human sized blender. I still cant believe he set me up! After he took off, I got tired of talking so much so I stopped and just ate. She grew more nerves and “Finley” said something.
“ H-how d-di-did you… k-know?” she asked I could barely make out what she said. Her voice was jumping all over the place. She kept looking away, she even had the baby blue eyes.
“ What?” I asked finishing off my second pie and moving on to my 3rd.
“ How...did you know that I…didn’t like high places…or going really fast?” I thought for a moment I didn’t recall saying that right away.
“ Hmm…oh…oh right…well it was a lucky guess.” I said smiling, putting another pie on my plate.
“ I see…w-why are you doing…this than?” she asked still looking away from me. Blushing again.
“ Doing what…oh taking you out?” I asked
“ Yes…” she replied in soft tone almost a whisper. “ Cause James is an a** whole that needs to stop bugging me about not having a girl friend, and you know what. Stop brothering nice girls like you on top of that!” I said pissed off, sipping my soda. What I really wanted to do was get this whole thing over with and go home, and than kill James in the morning! As I was having dark and violent thoughts. It was another few seconds before she started to talk again.
“ You don’t want…to be here at all do you?” she said in a very small voice again, but I made out what she said. It took me a second to finger out what to say with out making her feel bad.
“ Well the truth is no, I’m kind of done with the only dating carp for right now.” I said as kindly as I could.
“ I’m sorry…” She said looking very sad, she closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. I gave a bright smile.
“ Hey… this isn’t cause of you though, in fact this isn’t a bad date for that matter.” Trying to change her mood. I kept on smiling, and than signed as I drank my coke, I was getting really tired.
“ Why don’t you like dating anymore.” She asked.
“ You ask a lot of questions…did James tell you to ask that?” she looked down at the table embarrassed. She had already been tricked by him once today. I stopped sipping for a sec and let down my guard for some reason telling her why. Figuring she would understand that better than just flat out lying.
“ My last two girl friends…well lets I did something bad to each of them. I said feeling slightly shy myself now. I couldn’t really believe I was talking about this.
“ Like what?” she asked? For a girl who shy about everything she wasn’t shy about asking questions. I don’t know why, but I kept on telling.
“ I hurt them…” my voice grew weak suddenly and sad. Finding it very hard to think of the words, I was beginning to remember witch made me look away out the window. Seeing both their face’s every time my eyes blinked. I could see them both, their in the darkness. Both of them imprinted on my heart. Ghost’s from a past that was very hard to forget. It made me start to think of an old song called Mad world from ancient earth, a song where the world just fell apart around you. Leafing nothing left but bad memories, and dead friends, and lovers. “ Why?” she asked me bluntly.
“ Cause I was around them.” I said sipping my soda again. My eyes feel moist, I rubbed to clear the tears, before they were noticed.
“ You didn’t want to hurt them?” she asked.
“No” I said quickly!
“ Maybe… it wasn’t your fault” she said?
“ I wish…” wanting now to change the subject.
“ You don’t seem like a bad person. Your…umm thought full…” she said. I found it to be an odd complement.
“ No…I’m an a**. I just did took you out cause no one should be tricked like you were.” said finishing off my soda.
“ T-thanks…” She gave a weak smile, however it was sweet, in some odd way I ended up giving a real sweet smile of my own this time. Not giving her one of my fake a** one.
“ No problem… you’ve never been on a date have you.” I said.
“ umm…no” she said smiling shyly, look down at her feet.
“ Well now you have, everything you’d hoped I trust” I said sarcastically in a smirk letting her situation go to my head. Thinking I’m the man! I’m the nicest guy in the world! Ant no one cooler than me man!
“ Kind of…” she said.
“ Kind of? Oh… that hurts what do you mean?!” I said joking around.
“ Well… you’re a little …odd.” she said. I wasn’t shocked by her choose of words.
“ Eh…what you going to, ask for your money back. You know… you remind me of a little buddy of mine Snipes” I said, thinking back to a good memory for once. “ Snipes?” she asked thinking the name was odd.
“ Yeah… he’s a bit of a loud mouth, and b***h’s about every little dam thing, but he’s just as shy as you when it comes to the opposite sex. This girl right, he loves her and he could never bring him self to tell her. God he acts like a little kid with out his mommy!” I said laughing as I thought of all the times he was tortured by me and the rest of the gang. Its moments like that I try to remember about those old days. I could tell even though the girl was shy and looking away all the time she was having fun. I was glad to make her day! Than I started to feel uneasy, my eye began to move around the pizza shop. I didn’t see anything out of place, I saw the red counter top where the some where placing the orders. I saw other kids at the table. Hell I could see in the corner their a couple making out. Yet than a cold chill went right up my spin, cause me to sit up striate. I had goose bumps, my hair stood up on end, and than my eyes were drawn to look out at the large window again, only to see odd dark clouds flying threw, quickly filling up the sky. The light from the sun faded away slowly.
I stand up fast seeing this and I dash toward the front window, all others in the shop to began to notice the strange sight. The weather controls said weren’t do for rain for another few months. We had just gone threw our five day rain cycle. That and the uneasiness just kept growing inside me. The girl I felt her pulling on my sleeve.
“ What’s going on…” she asked me, she was more an aw the scared. No one had ever seen clouds move so fast. ( Not even me, witch worried me even more so) And wile everyone was going,” Oh wow it must be a glitch in the weather matrix or some bull s**t.” I on the other hand was freaking out inside. I didn’t understand where this feeling was coming from, but I knew it wasn’t wrong. Something horrible was going down, before anymore thoughts went threw my head. I turn quickly to the girl, putting both my hands on her shoulders. Making sure she understood what I was going to say.
“ Go home, stay their, don’t leave.” I said it quick and decisive, I moved threw the crowd of kids that was starting to grow behind looking out the window. I darted out the door as fast as I could, and ran, heading for home. My instincts, my other half was starting to return for first time in almost a year. That more than anything made me run fast. (Ever since I can remember their as been another person inside my head. I’ll go into it later on, but lets just say he kind like Doctor Jackal, if you know what I mean.) I kept trying not to let my concretion slip and let him out. I couldn’t let that thing out, not yet. Still I knew I would, I still couldn’t finger out what was going on.
As I was about half way to my cabin a heavy fog rolled in, witch only heighten my sense of urgency. None of this was right, the fog grew thicker and thicker the whole sky was dark now. Damp, I ran by a few people on my way home. I could tell panic was starting to set in. What better time to attack, as far as I anyone knew Haven had no military. ( I was wrong about that)
I made it home, sweating like a pig! I had to stop for a moment, bending down and putting my hands on my knees taking deep breaths. I was really out of shape!( But I still looked good though!!!) I put my hand, up to the door knob, the door than shot open by its self. As I stood up to see who had opened it, before I knew it I got a fist right in the face! It came at me like a ton of bricks, knocking me to the ground. I didn’t even see it coming, my vision was blared, I tried to pick myself up, but what ever it was kicked me in the face. Rolling on my side my noise was bleeding, and I could tell that their was another one near by. They were talking, but I didn’t understand what they were saying. As they were talking my slight was still messed up, but I could make out what they looked like.
They had on black mask’s and some kind of odd ninja out sit or something. Each had a large hand gun and a small short sword katana, both in their belts. There eyes, yes that was what really got my attention. They were dark red, there all in black, and seemed to keep low to the ground letting their arms dandle, like apes. Than I saw one of them get above my head behind me and pulled out his blade he was facing the door now. He was getting into a position where he could lob my head off! The other was just standing their in front of the door, only a few feet away. I knew that I had to act, they weren’t taking it out for show and tell. They wanted me dead, and in that spilt second before the blade came to give me the death blow. I let the beast out of me. My eyes started to burn with hate, my hair completely stood up, like a balloon that just rubbed against my skull. Both fist’s closed tightly I turned onto my belly, my leg than swung out like a whip! Turning my boy in a 180, and at the same time knocking the one behind me with the sword to the ground.
I jumped on top of him and I took out a long serrated blade out from my under cargo pant leg, removing it from its leather sheath and stabbed him in the throat! Pulling it out just as fast as I’d put it in him. My eyes just started to work again, burning with hate, but they weren’t mine now, they were his. A large foot came shooting in front of my face, it was the other one guy. I garbed his heal and pushed it up, as I began to stand. He lost his balance and fell to the ground, I than jumped forward onto him to holding him down. I pulled my arm back that had the knife, and in one death blow it was finished! Instead of stabbing I had pushed his noise into his face, with my fist. The blow had been strengthened by the knifes handle, he was dead now.
I felt a cool breeze pass by my face, my own blood coming out of my noise was now smeared over my left cheek, and in my eye. I slowly removed my imbedded fist from his face, it was almost imbibed inside. My eyes, his eyes…were like stone, yellow in color almost like a cat. I breathed heavily, deeply, it had been along time since I cut lose this basted. I now I knew it would not be the last. Than I hear a large pop above my head, I rose up fast and saw the in the clouds an outline. It was hard to make out, but it was a ship. A digital air battle ship, I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t make out any details, just that I had never seen one so big, and so menacing looking. It had some kind of large fin on top and almost looked like a shark.
I looked down at the bodies on my front yawn. I got on one knee, the wind was really picking up now that the ship was near by.
“ How could an air ship get here…” I said to myself as I watched my own body move on its own. He was in control now, and he could have it. He’s the one that fights not me. I pulled on the mask of the one that tried to behead me before. As the mask came off my worst fear came true. It was a virus in human forum. Built for one soul reason to kill everything.
ExcaliberX · Sat Jun 09, 2007 @ 09:49pm · 0 Comments |
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