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Across the room I sit alone, Much in essence like a distant stone. Forever in place, watching things pass by, Moved only to be thrown, a stone am I. Not cared for nor loved, always mistreated, And yet I am the foundation for all, much needed. Why is it that this pain follows me? Tormented and cursed for none to see. Across the room I sit alone, Much in essence like a distant stone. All will leave on their way, But i remain, forever to stay.
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:56pm · 0 Comments |
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How do I justify the things I do and say? Not ever really knowing what it ment at the end of the day. I wander this life giving my advice, Doing all I can just to be nice. But inside I wallow in a sea of black, Never to find my way back. Alone I stand in this miasma of tears, As my heart is pierced by a thousand spears. Someone please bring light to me, Though I know it will never be. Alone I shall remain, At peace within disdain. Call me not, for your voice will fade, As I float within my ever deepening shade.
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:55pm · 0 Comments |
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I know this place from time of old, Dark, scary and very cold. To be left alone to stand and stare, Out of the shadows of despair, To be left to feel so tired and stranded, The doubt of a liar branded?
With no-one there to understand, Who's with me to hold my hand? Left to cry myself asleep, I alone will secrets keep, For I must learn how to cope, From this dark place with little hope.
Heavy baggage forever to be carried, Will it cause me to always be parried? Can I ever again feel whole? At least this has to be my goal. All I long for is a hug and a cuddle, But that's what started this awful muddle.
I tell you one thing that's a definite must, A dependable girl to love and trust, One that's patient and tolerant, To sweep me off in a massive torrent, To a new life, uninhibited and free, But most of all to love me for me.
But that sort of thing only happens in books, And besides, I know I don't have the looks, Someone please strike a match or a light, Just so I know an end is in sight, I know I won't feel like this forever, I would like to think I'm just that little bit clever.
But please will someone share my path? To chat to drink and have a laugh, To say everything will be all right, To share my load and make it light, Now it's time for this to end, Guess what I need is a very close friend.
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:53pm · 0 Comments |
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I sat in the shower tonight, thinking of her. As I did my heart began to rip and pull at me knowing that soon she would be gone. To be gone... I wish I could be gone free from it all. The pain, the emotion, and my accursed love. Yes thats the word, even when it's such a strong word I say it for it is how she makes me feel. I am only truely happy when I am with her even when shes sad or pissed at me. But now I will be alone and it struck me again pulling and tearing at my soul. I got out of my shower and grabbed my razor and then returned to the tub. I sat in the falling water looking at it and working my nerve. I placed the razor to my wrist and pressed it down. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. Again I tried working my nerve but it failed me once more. I did this many times and failed everytime. I tried but I am to much of a coward. So I went to the party acted like I was ok when in fact I wanted to be dead. I saw her and I was happy but then she called her boyfriend how it hurts knowing he has her. My heart weeped and agian I wished I were dead. We said our goodbyes and she went home I only have one more week before she's gone forever. I wonder if I tried in a month from now when my depression leaps to new bounds if then... Maybe just then... I can bring myself to end my life, let my blood flow and drain every ounce of it's worthlessness to the floor. Without her I will be nothing.... And nothing doesn't exist so why should I be permitted to?
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:52pm · 0 Comments |
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I scream inside when you turn me away, When in time you should leave and I to stay. I am nothing with the way you treat me, I would be better off if you flat out beat me. Twisting and wrenching inside my soul, The darkness inside is a black hole. All alone I have remained, With you leaving me broken, damned, and drained. In the dark I sit bare, Knowing now that you truly don't care. To disappear is all I truly ask, But in doing so is a hefty task. To hell with these emotions and how I feel, Though they'll stay, they're far to real. Is there any true escape from this world? No. I am forever thrown and twhirled. On my knees, I now see, Eternal suffering for none save me...
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:51pm · 0 Comments |
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You may see my smile, and think that I'm ok... But inside I'm bleeding, All night long and through the day... You may hear my words, You may think they're wise But it's no trouble to make them up... They're part of the disguise...
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:50pm · 0 Comments |
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To love so deeply it hurts is the story I live. The one I love, I can not have. Though my passion is pure, the result of gaining her love would cause much pain. Not just to her but others as well. I do not wish to cause turmoil within her life and so I hide my feelings from public eye. The burden I hold for her happiness is a heavy load. For when I'm around her and seeing her smile, her being there makes the load a feather, but when she leaves and I again feel my pain, the burden becomes even heavier than before. How much longer can i go before I am crushed by the immense weight I hold on my heart? Darkness within my soul forever grows as I find this thing called "Love" to lead less towards happiness and more towards pain. Her eyes sparkle when she is with me and when I am with her I feel complete. When she is sad I feel her pain and condole her to smile. When she is mad I am there to let her express her anger and vent what she feels need to be said. When she hugs me it hurts to let go, knowing she belongs to another. And to this other, I harness no hatred, for he is not a bad person. I wish no pain to him nor ill will. But I would give everything I find pleasurable in my life just for one day as her lover, which he has been given the gift to have everyday. Forever alone I shall find myself as I sink into it's deepening darkness. My heart is gone, carried away by another never to return. The void in my chest grows daily and one day it shall fully consume me. But it matters not, I get up everyday in hopes of just catching a glimpse of herin all her splender. For she is radiant regardless of make-up or just getting up from a long nights rest. She need not put on a pretty face for me, I find her far more beautiful than anything in this known world. My heart sinks the more I write and putting this to paper just forces the reality of my situation on me even worse than the knowing. So I end my pain at least in this writing even though the pain I carry will never leave. Only in death shall i be eased and I contemplateit more and more everyday... I am sorry my love if I ever take the path you can't follow but I will try to live for your happiness because I have none left of my own.... Except you...
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:49pm · 0 Comments |
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"An End To It All"
Death take me I am here, Come collect what others hold dear. Cast your shadow upon my face, I'll give a smile none to erase. End to pain and suffering I shall see, With the darkness you bestow upon me. Into the void I must go, To leave others to tears and woe. Cold is the wind in this tunnel I walk, Darkness I chase forever I stalk. How did I die? Oh yes I remember, Razors are sharp, their cold steel quite clever. Pity me not for you shall soon see, An end to all in blissful eternity.
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:47pm · 0 Comments |
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Don't look into my eyes And see my tears. Don't look into my soul And see my pain. As my pain consumes me Everything turns to gray.
Iori...Yagami · Wed Jul 26, 2006 @ 08:46pm · 0 Comments |
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