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"i am starting to believe that i'm actually an okay person. more than okay. i think that... even if i haven't accomplished anything huge, i've survived a lot of trauma and i've touched a lot of lives. i know that i am not perfect, and i know that i never will be. i understand that wanting to be seems silly. i don't want to be perfect anymore, i want to be me. and i want to be okay with being me, whoever that really is. i have a lot of plans for the future. i don't want to mess up those plans just because i couldn't control my relapses. i don't want to die for a very, very long time. there is so much for me to do, and so much for me to feel. i really want to absorb as much of this world as i possibly can before i die. i also think that i know how to at least somewhat control my relapses: i notice that my over-thinking really seems to hurt my heart. maybe in the huge ******** grand scheme of things, nothing i do matters... and i'm actually okay with that. it doesn't matter? good. i'm still going to make my footprint on this world, no matter how small and insignificant it turns out to be. use my powers for good, i guess. something like that."