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its only now that i realized how truely retarded some people can be. and how great of a person i am compared to most.
i am always forgiving people for things. i've forgiven numerous people for abuse, physical and otherwise... i shouldnt but i do. i care too much about people and hate losing them.
but in the end im the one thats called mean.
i've NEVER hurt anyone, and i never will.
i've never even imagined cheating on someone yet theres people like aaron who say "i wish cheating was cool" because he doesnt really give a s**t about the person he's with unless he's inside them.
he'll call me and blame me for things because he needs to be mean to someone. theres a name for people like that... i cant think of it right now but i've encountered a few of them. this is the first one other than my mom thats used me to take everything out on. just because his daddy hit him and he's a sad loser he has to pick on someone weaker than him. it just happened to be me. i let him and i wish i hadnt. it caused me so much pain, it still hurts. i thought he was different. but he's not. he's weak, and has to take everything out on someone else. he is a very weak person with no heart. i wish i would have listened to people when they tried to tell me this. whats sad is after only being in relationships with assholes like nick and aaron and that whatever it was with geoff... i finally find a great guy and im scaring myself into thinking he's going to be like them. they all started off nice... but each one was worse than the last. first one was just an immature teenager who didnt know what he wanted, so i've forgiven that. second was just sex, no emotion and i regret that more than anything. then we have the third and the one i cared most about, aaron, who was a violent selfish abusive a*****e, who i loved, but he only loved sex and video games, so thats now how he views our relationship... says it was only about sex. it wasnt for me, its just what he wanted to do and what made him happy, and all i wanted to do was make him happy. he wanted to sit around and play games all day and do nothing. then he had the nerve to say i was a boring person... all i ever did was ask if he wanted to go out and do something. i asked him to walk down the street to a park once and he threw a fit.
but whatever hes a p***k and he knows this. he's going to do the same thing to every girl he's with, and i feel sorry for them.
i think i have someone great this time. i hope. everyone says he's great, thats a good sign.