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I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart, love in my mind
I seen nights full of pain, days of the same
You keep the sunshine, save me the rain
I search but never find, hurt but never cry
I work and forever try, but I'm cursed so never mind
And it's worse but better times seem further and beyond
The top gets higher, the more that I climb
The spot gets smaller and I get bigger
Tryna get into where I fit in, no room for a *****
But soon for a ***** it be on mother ********
Cause all this bullshit, it made me strong mother ********


So I pick the world up and I'm a drop it on your ********' head, yeahh!
b***h, I'm a pick the world up and I'm a drop it on your ********' head
And I could die now rebirth mother ********
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth
Mother ******** I'm gone
Mother ******** I'm gone


Uhhhh!
I know what they don't wanna tell you
Just hope you're heaven sent, and you're hell proof
I walk up in the world and cut the lights off
And confidence is the stain they can't wipe off
Uhhh, my word is my pride
But wisdom is bleak and that's a word from the wise
Serve to survive, murdered and bribed
And when it got too heavy I put my burdens aside


So I could pick the world up and I'm a drop it on your ********' head, ha ha yeahh!
b***h, I'm a pick the world up and I'm a drop it on your ********' head
And I could die now rebirth mother ********
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth
Mother ******** I'm gone
Mother ******** I'm gone
I'm gone

It hurts but I never show, this pain you'll never know
If only you could see just how lonely and how cold
And frostbit I've become, my backs against the wall
When push come to shove I just stand up and scream '******** them all'
Man it feels like these walls are closin' in
This roof is cavin' in, but it's time to raise it then
Your days are numbered like pagers
And my book of rhymes got them crookin' boy
This crooked mind of mine got them all shook
And scared to look in my eyes
I stole that ********' clock, I took the time
And I came up from behind and pretty much snuck up
And butt ******** this game up
Better be careful when you bring my name up
******** this fame, that ain't what I came to claim
But the game ain't gonna be the same on the day that I leave it
But I swear one way or another I'm a make these ********' haters believe it
I swear to God, won't spare the rod
I'm a man of my word, so your ********' heads better nod
Or I'm a ******** around in this b***h and roast everybody
Sleep on me that pillow is where your head'll lie
Permanently b***h, it's beddy bye
This world is my Easter egg, yeah prepare to die
My head is swole, my confidence is up
This stage is my pedestal, I'm unstoppable
Incredible hulk you're trapped in my medicine ball
I could run circles around you so fast your ******** head'll spin, dawg
I split your cabbage and your lettuce and olives
I'll ********'


Pick the world up and I'm a drop it on your ********' head, yeahh!
b***h, I'm a pick the world up and I'm a drop it on your ********' head
And I could die now rebirth mother ********
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth
Mother ******** I'm gone
Mother ******** I'm gone
I'm gone

"You can't save them all..." no. No I can't. No its not my responsibility to do so either, but I'll be damned if it isn't my responsibility to try! No one ever saved me but just like everyone else, I never dared to ask. I know well enough how hard things can get, so they don't need to ask. I know we've all had times where the taste of our own blood in our mouths was all that kept the fire in our hearts and that was enough to bite our lips and keep quiet. But even if you won't ask, even if you won't reach out I'll take your hand, take a deep breath, and jump.... for both of us.

When we wade through darkness and we think we're all alone,
Close your eyes real tight and pray you find your way back home.
But if you can not make it and your stranded in the night,
With a little luck in you, you could find me in your sight.

You wont find me in the light, you wont find me in the dark,
You will find me in the in between, and that is where I do my part.
I'm to weak to live in day, but I'm too strong for the night,
Resistant to the abyss, but I can't survive in the clouds.

Dusk and dawn are in my relm, the land of in betweens,
Not day or night but where they fight is where I can be seen.
I offer help to those in night, and also those in day,
Guiding all away from night, it's not a world to play.

Dances with the devil pull you deeper into hell,
Sing the anthem of the angels, and pray that all is well
Take my hand and heed my word the night is full of pain,
I'm far too close for comfort, so I can't let you stand here in the rain.



Lately I've been feeling a little rough... I dont know what it is, maybe I've just been bored as hell, maybe it's depression... maybe I'm just loosing my damn mind, I really don't know, but I've kinda been on a little bit of an emotional swingset so to speak back and forth between doin alright and just totally BLAH. Don't really want to do anything but I'd like to change things in my life. Kinda feels like I'm just being swayed greatly by different things through out my day, kinda like I'm just floating around and being pushed in various directions by any given influence, like my feet really aren't planted on the ground any more. I'm really hoping that getting a job helps get my back to my feet... I need something to help me dig my feet back into the sand and get going again.

Heroes

There are no heroes here
To hold my head up high
No saviors there at all
To keep me warm and dry

I have no path before me
No trail for me to trace
One foot before the other
The only way I get by.

I'm hollow, naked, shivering
How could I possibly surive,
Thirsty, hungry, and weary,
Is this really where I die?

I can not fall no not yet,
I have to move to save us all,
I will be your hero, or atleast I'll try,
Believe in me, hold me close, and I can never fall.


Chance

Roll the dice,
Place your bets,
Hold your breath,
And no regrets.

Living high,
Always going,
One more shot,
One more token.

Gamble on,
Continue racing,
Close your eyes,
Keep on pacing.

What will the next second bring?

As if your even worth the trouble. You think tears should be shed for you? No, you dont deserve them. You dont deserve to be in that relationship. You dont deserve anything you have right now. Not a god damn bit of it. So proud. So confident. So strong. HA! You can't handle all of this and look at all the pain and suffering you've caused. LOOK AT THIS MESS! Welcome home dumb a**! What do you want now? What more could you possibly ask for? You have it all but your NEVER ******** happy. Nothing's ever good enough for you. I'm done. I give up, your on your own. I can't deal with the bullshit any more. Have fun kid, take care of yourself. Heh, if you even know how... Good bye Dustin, it's been one hell of a ride.

As if your even worth the trouble. You think tears should be shed for you? No, you dont deserve them. You dont deserve to be in that relationship. You dont deserve anything you have right now. Not a god damn bit of it. So proud. So confident. So strong. HA! You can't handle all of this and look at all the pain and suffering you've caused. LOOK AT THIS MESS! Welcome home dumb a**! What do you want now? What more could you possibly ask for? You have it all but your NEVER ******** happy. Nothing's ever good enough for you. I'm done. I give up, your on your own. I can't deal with the bullshit any more. Have fun kid, take care of yourself. Heh, if you even know how... Good bye Dustin, it's been one hell of a ride.

Smile... Everyone needs you. Everyone's watching. Hmhmhm. Just a smile. Thats all it takes when everyone's waiting to see what you'll do next. Just a smile. Just my smile. I've hidden so much behind that simple expression, I've swallowed back so many tears, so many words and thoughts just by smiling.

It's hard for me not to smile, not to laugh. For me not to seem happy. Tears in my eyes and laughter from my mouth. Here's a question, which one is really from the heart and which one's from the mind? I cant tell any more. Which is more sincere. This smile? These tears? *shakes head*

How I always seem to hide
Behind a haunting hallow smile
Empty echoes of constant laughing
A sad slow drip of intangible tears...

Well little did I know this though
Words and tears wont keep for later
They rot and decay and become so vile
Sick you cough and spit your bile.

What once was a gentle 'can you help me'
Bottled up becomes over whelming
Now you have 'WHY WONT YOU SAVE ME'
Because of that evil grin.

Take my musing as a warning,
Speak your peace for peace of mind,
Dont hold your tongue and wait for time,
The message will be lost.

For time in time will pass us by,
It ages, alters, and rearranges,
Words in fact are not exempt,
So speak up when it's time.

When you close your eyes
And all you see is black
Can you feel the serpents slither
And the spiders on your back?

I move my fingers slowly
Over a chitinous army
The scorpions bow thier tails
And for now they spare the sting.

My feet then gently shuffle
Through these deadly snakes
They close in all around me
And hiss within my wake.

Arachnids hanging from the ceiling
Trapping moths within their webs
I wander through them all
And pray that I stay safe.

Wolves circle all around me
Pacing in their tracks
They slowly tighten in
With blood thirst in thier eyes.

Hissing and howls fill my ears,
The scent of death is never far,
Ice cold scales and pin point legs
Rove over my bare skin.

One question comes to burning truth
It rattles in my mind.
"How can you get through it all?"
"What will it take for me to survive?"

I wanna see you hurt
Yeah I wanna see you bleed
I wanna see those tears
Roll down your face because me.

I wanna hear you cry,
Yeah just let me hear you scream,
I need to see you toss and turn
From the visions in your dreams

I will be your demon
Who drags you into hell
Ill pull your eyes wide open
And show you how I fell

So now your mind is racing
But I know how to make it stop
I’ll bring it to an end
All to a screaming halt.
I want you to know
Because you have to understand
I need you just to listen
Because this is all your fault

I just wanna hurt
And get my skin to bleed
I’m gonna see those tears
Roll down my face because of me...

This is all my fault.