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i feel odd. strangely melancholy, yet content. I'm not happy. But i am.. does that make any sense? she is so cruel to me, but is it not truly fair that she does so? i'm not sure if i deserve her malice or not.. it makes me sad that she doesn't want me around. but at the same time, i don't really want her around either. i think things will be better once she leaves... Things will change. But they're supposed to, aren't they? who knows.. I might get the family car when mom gets a 'new' one. I like the subaru. It's nice. it just has to get the catalystic converter fixed... What IS a catalystic converter? God, i'll have a car. i'll have the first taste of freedom. now i just need to finish reading that damned devil book. (The Driver's Ed manual) It's so BORING! I start to read it and my eyes get heavy.. jeez, i start to THINK of reading that thing and my eyes get heavy. Eh, oh well. mike's on. i'll write more later.

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