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*Sigh*
Well, nothing coming to mind in the form of ideas for stories, yet the urge to write is present, so here I am. I find this happening more and more often, where I want to write but have nothing to write about, so I end up writing either pathetic diary entries or really bad stories. So I'd rather just go with the diary entries, IF their was something to write about. God my life is so boring. And pathetic. I'm not sure whether I should sit around and wait for divine intervention, or go out looking fir it in the form of a hot nerd or Fan Expo (btw i may actually go to the I'm going as America McGee's Alice, the evil one. Shes pretty cool she goes around killing everything with a knife.)

Well, what has gone on in my life? Maybe if I vent out all the s**t, I'll be left with something useful. Hmmm....well, my boyfriend-er, well,-EX boyfriend, dumped me over face book because he apparently "forgot" my phone number and "forgot" my address. I wouldn't put it past him considering he smokes enough to fill a chimney. And I don't mean tobacco. He certainly wasn't as bad as my other ex's, but then again they all had "unique" qualities. All except one. One guy. He, was......perfect. Perfect to me, anyway. He was sweet, charming, romantic, a good listener, AND he knew how to suck up to my parents. I dumped him. Yep, the greatest thing in my life and I cut him loose because my friends, family and peers hated him. My mother thought he was trailer trash, and that was the initial impression. My friends thought he was a bad influence. As for my peers, well, they were just happy they had another excuse to make my life miserable and jumped on any and all possibilities. I admit, there were problems with me. I was getting mixed signals and was myself confused, I was scared and I did what I thought was best. A decision that I have been sorrowfully regretting for the last, oh, about one year.

So, yeah, I'm pretty dumb and the stress from this is most likely the root cause for my writers block. Any therapist would tell me that if I confront my problems and move on, then I will once again regain my creative writing abilities. But I highly doubt that, so square one. Whatever, he doesn't want me back anyway and is obviously better at moving on then me. Maybe I'm just really, really lonely and is craving the one relationship I've ever had in my life that has given me any scrap of good in return.

Stop me when I start sounding bitter, but I'm14 and already I'm already sick of this game. I would stop playing, but my teammates are counting on me, and who knows? There may be only seconds left on the clock before a new play, and anything can happen. Especially when you already have the dating experience of a 40 year old. xd