Life sucks man...I know I don't have to say it but I'll say it any ways. I dealt with a lot of Depression. I started cutting my wrist and a lot of other crap. I heard voices in my head, telling me it's alright, that it's o.k to be mad and do this to myself. I remeber crying and crying and not knowing why. I remember writing depressing poems and always being alone and neglected and different. I liked it at times, but sometimes I hated myself for what I've done to put myself in these positions. Always having people asking me questions always asking "Are you o.k?" or "Are you alright?, Do you need help?" I got tired of explaining myself. I felt like I was going to die any ways so it didn't matter if I lived a happy life or not. People can relate to this, I've met a lot of people. But sometimes even when your in a room full of people laughing and joking around, it's like everything around you disappears and you in the dark alone again. In this queit little black pit or hole that you can't get out of, your alone and all you have to stare at is the dark, and the dark staring right back at you. I started to get involved in church and Gid began to work in my life. He started to send a lot of people to me. People who knew of my situation without me having to speak a word. I liked this in a way because I knew that all those tears and prayers didn't go to waste, but then I knew that once I was better....everyone would go away like nothing ever happened, and I didn't want that to happen again. I didn't want to be alone. Death is everyones future. Life is the past and the present. I wanted to enjoy my life while I can until my appointment with death comes or until God shows his face upon the earth to take his children back to Heaven. Now I am better I still have my flaws and downfalls but I know that everything will get better. The voices in my head have stopped because I know that the voices were just the Devil trying to make me kill myself. He'll say things like "Go ahead do it, you know you want to...No one will care...Your just one person out of millions of others. Who cares your nothing." just a lot of crap like that. And as you grow you start to believe all that...But yeah man it's like that...the voices in my head...
ChOseN_VesSeL · Tue Nov 09, 2004 @ 02:19am · 0 Comments |