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from jokesNjokes.net

A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Found in a women's restroom.

Make love, not war. Heck, do both - get married !
Found in a women's restroom.

You're too good for him.
Over a women's restroom mirror.

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Found in a men's restroom.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her s**t.
Over a men's restroom mirror.

No wonder you always go home alone.
Over a men's restroom mirror.

Express Lane: Five beers or less.
Over a urinal.

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
Over a urinal.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
If Bush were captain of the Titantic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress !
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards.
Never argue with Idiots. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Things are a lot more like they used to be than they are now.
The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall not commit adulthood.
To do is to be. (Descartes)
To be is to do. (Voltaire)
Do be do be do. (Sinatra)