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I hate Kasamba, and I am yet to get my ******** paycheck. I also dislike the way things are going right now. Money problems, my father being a ******** psycho, gaining weight, being excessively tired for no reason, being low on cash, depression, worries, being far from Donny, missing my grandfather, missing my step-grandmother, missing Chrissy's grandmother, missing how things used to be, being unsure of what's going to happen with my life... I mean I know I will end up with Donny, but that is ALL THAT I ******** KNOW!!! I don't know when... Chances are that I may have to wait more than two years, which ******** bothers me. I'm really scared that the first time I see my man will be the day we're married, and do you know how awkward that s**t's gotta' be???????
*sigh* I'm also scared about what's gonna' happen to my family, I am gonna' stay strong and work on fixing the problem though because I know all I gotta' do is make some more cash, save up, make most of my money go to repairing the house, paying some bills (at least half of them) again, not spend so much money on s**t, and think positively. It's just hard when your reality wasn't always this way, and the sweet "everything is fine" moment in your life becomes the past. Maybe I'm worried over nothing though, because I've noticed that these worries are indeed a part of life ^_^ I just pray to God/Goddess/Calypso/Allah/Buddha/Zeus/Apollo/Kali/[insert othe diety name here] that we get through this all, and we get through all of this soon. I'm trying to move away from my past, grow more, understand more, and be far away from my past as possible and evolve into' something great, and that is just what I'm going to do. Whatever the cost...
*sighs* I would like to say the ole' three emo words... you know... "I hate life"
...but that attitude will get me nowhere. I know that now, and plus that will make everything worse. Plus, nothing is really my fault anyways (well, not that much). So I'm just gonna' let myself be happy and worry-free, and whatever ******** happens I'm just going to make the best of it because sometimes you can't change the way life turns, but you can make it better, and that is exactly what I'm going to do. Plus I do believe in a God, and I know he is with me. smile
That's all for now, I just needed to vent.
...don't feel that much differen't though. sweatdrop
so-effin-spiffy · Tue Jul 03, 2007 @ 06:45pm · 0 Comments |
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