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i dont even know why im writing in this, its not like anyone is going to read it. ohh well i guess i could use this as an online journal or something, so that one day when im older i can look back on this. hmm well its 1:38 in the morning &i cant sleep. just got a lot on my mind. thinking about all the things i've fcuked up in life, all the friends i've lost, all the people that dont like me, &all that other crap out there. life just kinda sucks right now. &even though something good may happen to me i just dont feel the way i should about it. i mean like i should be happy about it, but i dont feel that way. its like i can never really be happy like i once was. but what ever thats life. its not like anyone cares about me anyway so whatever.