One day, i got one day again...doesn't feel like it happened, more like some dream/nightmare...if only it had been a dream =
Cal had left that girl and came to me again...things were better than they had ever been and i thought that this was it, everything was sorted and i'd be fine. I should learn to believe the opposite of what i feel...
I was helping Cal cook for the first time and i finally kissed him and then..well...we almost...i mean if the alarm...uh...and then with Raine....well..erm..moving on..
Cal invited everyone round to try his cooking..including Arisa...which is when everything fell apart, Arisa said something then Cal left...then she left...and then i knew that that was it..i'd lost him again...
TTT keeps coming to check on me...not sure why...i don't even look at her anymore..i don't look at anyone anymore...
Cal tried to talk to me again..but...i can't stand to look at him or talk to him anymore...i mean..i don't know if i should hate him or love him..or whether i should hate arisa or be happy for her...
And TTT, she was...is...my only friend but i feel like i should have anger towards her for letting me meet Cal...
I don't know what to feel anymore...i don't even feel anything anymore...i don't feel sad or happy..just...empty i guess..
I don't know if i'll ever learn to live with this..i don't think i'll get a third chance..and would i take a third try...?
..I wish i could thank TTT....even if i don't pay attention to her, it helps that someone cares about me..
Cal had left that girl and came to me again...things were better than they had ever been and i thought that this was it, everything was sorted and i'd be fine. I should learn to believe the opposite of what i feel...
I was helping Cal cook for the first time and i finally kissed him and then..well...we almost...i mean if the alarm...uh...and then with Raine....well..erm..moving on..
Cal invited everyone round to try his cooking..including Arisa...which is when everything fell apart, Arisa said something then Cal left...then she left...and then i knew that that was it..i'd lost him again...
TTT keeps coming to check on me...not sure why...i don't even look at her anymore..i don't look at anyone anymore...
Cal tried to talk to me again..but...i can't stand to look at him or talk to him anymore...i mean..i don't know if i should hate him or love him..or whether i should hate arisa or be happy for her...
And TTT, she was...is...my only friend but i feel like i should have anger towards her for letting me meet Cal...
I don't know what to feel anymore...i don't even feel anything anymore...i don't feel sad or happy..just...empty i guess..
I don't know if i'll ever learn to live with this..i don't think i'll get a third chance..and would i take a third try...?
..I wish i could thank TTT....even if i don't pay attention to her, it helps that someone cares about me..
