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My Journal
just some of my thoughts
things i just have to have them said
well today is tuesday the 3rd of june..... as i struggle to find a better college im left with two choices, a new location to nova institute college or ITT computer tech (whatever the name is)

while i was given a tour at ITT institution, i found quite exhiting all the things i would be learning and working with (computer technology and engineering is something i've always wanted to do) but as look at the place i realize its small, they dont hold alot of people in the intitute..... believe it or not that stroke me...the reason is as it follows:

My childhood wasnt one that u would call normal....yah yah i know this is another sob story of some emo kid...yeah i admit im emo....im emotional and sensity about things....i think everyone is at some matters is. When i was a kid my parents didnt like me, before i was born i was hated by my dad and his mother since...he didnt want to have me but regardless (im not going into detail) i was born not loved by my mom either.

Even so i was lill and a simple baby, i wouldnt or couldnt understand the people around me didnt love me. I was sent to school at the age of 4, and i had the odds against me to beging with... i used to be very fat and this bullied countless times. In ways that would turn outto scar me for life. (not going to detail)

At the age of 15 my parents win a green visa card to move to the usa in hopes of a better future......for me it turned out no different, back when i was 7 i developed solitude issues, abandonmet feelings, unwanted and hated....depression. When i went to high school, it turned out no different than my days at middle school back in my home land (not going to detail) Though at the age of 16 i tried hard for a change and achieved it, i looked for love that which i longed for the most. I found it but it wasnt but 2 days after i did, that it was torn to pieces. Faced with the fact that the only personed that loved me was moving else where....i resolved to try to live up to what i could and lead a normal life.

Eventually i got over my depression (somehow) but something thats been in u for years...wont leave without leaving trases. Today those trases seem to have striken and memories from what happened years ago flow back in my mind (a few). My last chance to live the live i've always wanted to lies in my path to college....my youth is going away by the days and so my chances to live up life as i want it to. My parents dont understand y i dont want to go to ITT institution, they r angry i chose NOVA college. I wont bother to explain them nor ill do so here.

My last shot at what i want is here and now, but no one really sees y im chosing this. What i want doesnt seem to matter, my family lacks funds to pay for college, to pay nova....they ask me to attend ITT since its somewhat cheaper but i know if i go there ill regret it and itll hurt me more than i could bear right now





 
 
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