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 Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 1:48 pm
Hells yeah bitches.
Or somthing to a similar effect.
Thread worthy brilliance shall ensue, I assure thee.
Inside this thread I'll put lots of s**t that I like and things that are hilariously and sanity erasingly funny.
(IMO of course, and if you don't agree, then you might aswell kill yourself.)
So... This is a little bit about me.
My name is Louis, I'm 19, and im as badass as you like.
I really like Grunge and Heavy Metal, alot.
I also am an active cannabis user.
(I'm am up for discussions about weed and smoking, but I'm not up for self-indulgent non smokers.)
I play guitar, and I'd say I'm pretty good. Ive been playing 3 years now,
2 of which were spent at a Music Institute in my hometown, where I studied music theory and the Performing Arts.
I'm currently studying for a national diploma in Music Technology, which is going pretty well so far, even though I missed the Freshers Fair.
After that... I'll be 21... ******** hell... Dunno what I'm gonna do... Probably get really famous, take aload of drugs, kill my bassist, burn out and eventually blow my brains out with a sawn off shotgun.
It'll be awesome I promise you.
Suicide brings me to remind you all of my sole hatred.
The mortal enemy of Grunge, Metal and Punk.
Emo.
I ******** hate the entire scene with a burning passion. Its so... ********... Lame. Seriously...
Apart from that, I hate most everything, it's all just s**t really.
I'd like to say I'm a positive person, I also contradict myself alot.(*Guffaw*)
I'm optimistic as ********. In my opinion, everything will eventually work itself out and be cool again.
I.
Dunno. What
.
Else.
To Write.
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 2:02 pm
A smooth example of my sense of humour.
Taken from http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net
Which happens tp be The best page in The Universe.
If you take offense to this.. Grow some balls and learn to take a ******** joke.Quote: Updates to my site have been slow lately, so some of you have taken this as an invitation for you to send me your stupid topics to write about. Even if I suddenly had a lapse in judgement and decided that it would be a good idea to take suggestions for topics from you idiots, I think I would come to my senses as soon as I read the first few. Here's why (Note: these are all real suggestions people have sent me, right down to the grammar and spelling mistakes):
-write sumthn bout african americans!!!
First of all, the label "African American" is the dumbest, most persistently used phrase in our vernacular. Every time you call someone an "African American," you're making at least two assumptions about the person:
1. That the person is an American. For example, if you saw this guy walking along on a street, you would probably think: ...which is fine, except for one small detail: this man is British, which makes you a presumptuous c**k.
2. That the person is African (because it's inconceivable that black people could come from Haiti, India, Trinidad, Dominican Republic, Brazil, Australia, or Jamaica). Nevermind that; BLACK PEOPLE ONLY COME FROM AFRICA.
Not to mention that every time you give a black person the distinction of being "African American" out of a mixed group, you're making an assumption about an entire continent; not everyone from Africa is black. I guarantee all you politically correct morons out there have never called a white person an African American. Of course you could avoid all these problems by using the same standards on blacks as you would on whites by simply assuming that all whites are from Africa just as you do for all blacks, but that might be too forward, and in a polite society like ours, people would be all too pleased to point out which of the 192 countries you didn't guess they were actually from.
-Hey maddox write about snakes.
...And? What the hell am I supposed to say about snakes? Who gives a s**t about them? Snakes are boring and lifeless creatures, barely showing signs of living, if you can call the slow, meandering bobbing motion of their heads from time to time "life." They just sit there all coiled up like a scaley pile of s**t. The only cool thing a snake does is eat, which isn't that cool unless it's a live animal, and even then it's 1.5 seconds of action and 96 hours of digestion. Cut the foreplay and take a swallow already. You know what's cooler than watching snakes eat? Having sex.
-hey maddox, why shouldnt we be allowd to rape girls in the army? write about it
I don't even know how to begin answering your question, and I don't want to give you a response in the traditional sense so much as I want to give you a hatchet wound on your face. You're an idiot on so many levels, that I feel almost overwhelmed. Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid.
What's really baffling is the subtle suggestion he's making in the phrasing of his question. The question "why shouldn't we be allowed to rape" implies that he asked someone—presumably a supervisor—for permission to forcefully ravage a woman's v****a, had his request denied (hence his knowledge that rape is disallowed), and somehow he's still able to send me stupid emails on the Internet instead of rotting in jail somewhere, learning why we shouldn't be allowed to rape through empirical observation. Idiot.
-Write about the mars rover and space rocks.
Snore.
-Write something about Carl Malone.
No.
-Write about ulcers.
-Write about orange juice causing cancer and ulcers.
-Write about celery causing ulcers.
I don't know what to make of this anomaly, but for a while last year, I received a bunch of email from people asking me to write about ulcers. I had no idea why ulcers, and I had no idea why me. Normally when I get a flood of email from people asking me to write about a specific topic, it's because it's a timely issue being discussed in the news, but I couldn't find any stories at the time about anything that had to do with ulcers. To be fair though, the only news sources I checked were reruns of Family Guy.
-what about asian people?
What about them? Don't you retards think before you click "Send" that maybe someone on the other end is actually going to read your stupid, malformed emails some day? It's almost like there's a record full of incomprehensible bullshit playing in your mind 24/7, and you put the needle down randomly and whatever it picks up, you just type it up in an email and shoot it off to me, usually mid-sentence.
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 2:18 pm
Quote: How To Kill Yourself Like A Man. I was applying for a job to become a suicide prevention counselor the other day, when the guy interviewing me started bitching about how boring his job had become. The only people he ever hears from anymore are 14 year old girls who try to overdose on Tylenol. YAWN. How about killing yourself with some style? How about killing yourself like a man? Here are some manly ways to shove off this mortal coil, along with ratings for each category from 1 to 10:
Eat a tub full of beans:
Manliness: 8 Style: 4 Awesomeness: 8 Mess: 5 What you need: a tub, enough beans to fill said tub.
How to do it: just dig in, you chunky son of a b***h! Keep eating until you can't possibly eat anymore, then eat some more. Your gut will rupture and you will s**t yourself. The cool thing about this method is that it's not only disgusting to clean up, but you'll probably be so bloated from the beans (choose Van Camp's by the way, not Bush's baked beans unless you like the taste of beans pickled in ball sweat) that you probably won't fit in the casket without some serious reconstructive surgery. Guess who's footing the bill for that one? That's right: friends and family. Just kidding. You have no friends. Strangle yourself:
Manliness: 9 Style: 4 Awesomeness: 4 Mess: 0 What you need: hands.
How to do it: strangling yourself with your own hands has long been thought impossible because when your body stops getting enough oxygen, you pass out and start breathing normally again. Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like failing at failing. You're the one who has to deal with the embarrassment of having the paramedics finding your dumb a** passed out on the floor in a puddle of your own drool, as they begrudgingly take you to the hospital where the doctors would be so disappointed that one of them might try to strangle you themselves. And if they don't, give me a call; I will. Even the late Vincent Price strangled himself to death. Either that or lung cancer, but I can't be bothered to look it up. Eat s**t. Hold your breath:
Manliness: 9 Style: 3 Awesomeness: 8 Mess: 0
What you need: balls.
How to do it: this is similar to strangling yourself, but the difficulty level is hard. Harder than a priest at a playground.
Step 1: Hold your breath.
Step 2: Wait 10 minutes, then go to step 3.
Step 3: If you are reading this, you have failed. Razor blade:
Manliness: 5 Style: 2 Awesomeness: 8 Mess: 7
What you need: razor, neck.
How to do it: how many times have you tried to kill yourself with a razor blade by slashing up your wrists, only to be told "it's down the highway, not across the street"? Then you listen to this advice and cut up your arms like some amateur dipshit who doesn't know what she's doing. Your boyfriend dumped you. You can't go on because you're the only person who has ever been dumped and this is the most painful thing that has happened to anyone who has lived 14 consecutive years, so it's time for the solace only decapitation can bring you. Make sure to go all the way through the spinal column.Headbutt the sidewalk:
Manliness: 10 Style: 3 Awesomeness: 10 Mess: 4
What you need: a sidewalk.
How to do it:
Step 1: Slam your head into the sidewalk.
Step 2: Repeat.
Headbutting is probably the manliest thing ever. Not only is it useful for suicide, it's also a great way to break up with your girlfriend. For example, I couldn't find the words to tell my ex that our relationship was over, so one day while we were watching TV I headbutt her in the tits. Then I picked up my jacket and left. No awkward goodbyes, no "still friends" bullshit. Just a couple of bruised titties and a failed relationship. I rule.Also Maddox.
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 2:32 pm
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