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 Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 7:37 am
*beep*
Good day. This is Phil. Unfortunatley I am on assignment for the holidays and am unavailable to take your call. If you will leave your name, the time you called, location, and number of casualties, I will get to your cover-up as soon as possible. Any extra detail would be helpful. Thank you.
*beep*
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 8:35 am
Hey this is Shoku- there was a domo anti-domo related explosion near the western border of Nebraska. I can't get a decent report of casualties as everything resembled those abstract piantings of swirls and melting shapes and all of the clocks were pointing to purple'o'clock. The radius of this event only seems to be about a mile but inside of it you can't distinguish fish from nail clippers and the corn seemed to be developing into a tentacle monster before I got the hell away from that place.
Oh, and if you're back by Monday I'll stop by around noon to have my own horrifying memory of it wiped.
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 8:38 am
Uhhh... hey Phil, it's Arch. Uh, sorry about the noise, I'm on my cell phone. Ummm, it's about 10:30 am on a Friday, I'm in Starkville, Mississippi and there aren't any fatalities... but... well, we do have some issues with unlicensed magic.
I've been tracking a Drathilian Mindflare for about a week now, and I almost had him cornered, but uhhh... he took some drastic measures to throw me off the trail. *pause... rustling of papers*... Uhhh, sorry about that, yeah... umm... it was a wide-area spell, he's a talented one, the whole... I think west side... *pauses for a moment* yeah, the west side of the town, the civilians have all been influenced to be very... well...
You remember that time in Omaha, right? Well, let's just just say the smell is even worse, and I haven't been able to convince a single person I've come across to change their pants.
I'm gonna need a large-scale mindwipe, and... well... yeah, their minds aren't all that need wiped. You should probably also bring what I'm sorry to report is an inconveniently large clean-up crew.
I'd try to do it myself, but if I did, I'd probably lose the b*****d. If I stay on him, I should have him in the next few days.
Thanks for the help.
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Thaddeus rolled 6 6-sided dice:
5, 6, 1, 1, 3, 6
Total: 22 (6-36)
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:44 am
Hey Phil. Some guy pissed me off, so I cut all of his fingers and both thumbs off at the first knuckle... in broad daylight. Just thought you should know. ninja
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:55 am
Phil-
Thad cut all my fingers and thumbs off at the first knuckle in broad day light, then I used the jagged bone points to disembowel some dude 'cause he was laughin' at me. I think he was anyway... guess we'll never know.
this is Jon by the way.
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 12:31 pm
Phil! It's Kitty (Saiko). I'm totaly in a rut.
My superiors are giving me these paper with all these questions and stuff
they tell me that i have to take them in order to live in this world. They all piss me off and the question are ridiculous!
"Define social psychology"
[insert some really hard Calculus problem]
i want to destroy these superiors that give me all these outrageous questions
i dont' need to live from these question
what should i do? flame them? or eat them alive?
maybe i need a bit of help
call me soon before monday, mkay? -^^- bai bai
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 1:35 pm
Ja Philito,
What's be shakin' my mexican? Enjoying your holiday? I'm not. I need someone to put an entire building full of managers into coma for a few days while us techs get some time off from work since they don't like giving that to us for whatever reason. ;_;
Thanks! Desi
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:32 pm
Hello, Phil Who Knows More Than Me. It's Victoria.
Um, there was something I meant to ask you earlier during my interview. This, uh, this is a paid internship, right? I mean, since I'm not belly-dancing on a regular basis anymore, I'm gonna need a little extra money.
I mean, if it's not a paid internship, that's cool...I just, y'know, need to know if I need to start pawning my furniture.
Not to make you feel guilty or anything.
I'll, uh...I'll talk to you later.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 9:45 am
Hey Victoria, this is Phil. Hope you check the machine when you get into the office.
No, but don't let your internship get in the way of your belly-dancing. You can make a lot by belly-dancing in front of any security camera in the building and then selling the DVDs through the catalogue.
Also, go through the fridge and throw out any rancid luncheon meats left by that Violent Media guy. I'll be in later.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 1:38 pm
After he dissapeared I ook the liberty of eating everything I thought was his-
I didn't like most of it that much but left to my own devices I eat the same thing everyday. I don't think it's good for my health.
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 7:32 am
Shokushu After he dissapeared I ook the liberty of eating everything I thought was his- I didn't like most of it that much but left to my own devices I eat the same thing everyday. I don't think it's good for my health.
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 7:50 am
Phil Srobeighn Shokushu After he dissapeared I ook the liberty of eating everything I thought was his- I didn't like most of it that much but left to my own devices I eat the same thing everyday. I don't think it's good for my health. That was the sort of message when somebody's cellphone gets bumped in such a way that it speed dials yor number and then you just hear them talking in the background. You talk into the phone for a bit to see if they can hear you but eventually just hang up.
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:12 pm
Shokushu Phil Srobeighn Shokushu After he dissapeared I ook the liberty of eating everything I thought was his- I didn't like most of it that much but left to my own devices I eat the same thing everyday. I don't think it's good for my health. That was the sort of message when somebody's cellphone gets bumped in such a way that it speed dials yor number and then you just hear them talking in the background. You talk into the phone for a bit to see if they can hear you but eventually just hang up. Ah. 3nodding *erases*
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 7:20 pm
Hey Phil, you might need to send a clean-up crew down to the 'burg. Remember how you are always telling me not to use "The big hammer," my 750 pound uranium Ron-Co, to kill kobolds? Yeah, the uranium became a little unstable and I think there might be kobold bits in the midwestern atmosphere. Sorry.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 2:41 am
Hey Phil... uhhhh... this is Dale. I have kind of a strange request for you. I'm still down here at my new place in Mississippi and... well, I'll be damned if I didn't hear a very disturbing liquidy thump up on the roof. I bamfed up there to investigate and it looks like the sky opened up and dumped pureed monster guts on my freakin' house. I would have taken care of it myself, but I thought I should go through official channels, cause it's been awhile since I've run into any myself, but if I'm not mistaken it smells very strongly of kobold.
I think the guts are starting to glow green as well... get a crew down here as fast as you can. Thanks.
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