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 Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:47 am
I'm Krista, 16.. I've been cutting since i was 12, and Suicidal since... forever... I recently got diagnosed with Depression since March 2012, and also PTSD. And a few weeks ago my doctor realized how severe my depression really is. Even though what I've been through since I was 3 is over, and I've moved on even before it was over.. I tried to commit suicide once and my cutting that weren't real cuts turned severely large and deep, all over my forearms and my thighs and my stomach. I'm in therapy but I don't feel better.. even with all my support, my boyfriend, and my mom I still want to continue to cut and commit suicide. I started smoking cigarettes since this mid-summer cause I thought it would be better then scaring myself, but it doesn't help anymore... Even today I want to cut and perhaps do an over dose, cause it just seems really good to me.. Even though I know that people care for me I just... somehow don't care..
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:43 am
Garret-Jones I'm Krista, 16.. I've been cutting since i was 12, and Suicidal since... forever... I recently got diagnosed with Depression since March 2012, and also PTSD. And a few weeks ago my doctor realized how severe my depression really is. Even though what I've been through since I was 3 is over, and I've moved on even before it was over.. I tried to commit suicide once and my cutting that weren't real cuts turned severely large and deep, all over my forearms and my thighs and my stomach. I'm in therapy but I don't feel better.. even with all my support, my boyfriend, and my mom I still want to continue to cut and commit suicide. I started smoking cigarettes since this mid-summer cause I thought it would be better then scaring myself, but it doesn't help anymore... Even today I want to cut and perhaps do an over dose, cause it just seems really good to me.. Even though I know that people care for me I just... somehow don't care.. On some level perhaps you know that people care, but you clearly don't FEEL that love yet. Trauma closes you off from that, and it makes it very very hard for the people around you to truly show you how much you mean to them. Suicide is never the answer. I've slept in the back of a car, several months pregnant, in 28 degree weather. And believe me I wanted to die. But I realized that more than how badly I wanted to die, I wanted TO LIVE. Not just exist, but FEEL alive. Krista, what you say here tells me that you have quite a few people in your life that are fighting for you. Please open your eyes and see them. They're there with you, and for you, and now so are the people in this guild. We can make it through this with you. You just have to be willing to hold on for us. Can you do that?
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Whisper the Lightbringer Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 8:02 am
Yume Kara Sasayaku Garret-Jones I'm Krista, 16.. I've been cutting since i was 12, and Suicidal since... forever... I recently got diagnosed with Depression since March 2012, and also PTSD. And a few weeks ago my doctor realized how severe my depression really is. Even though what I've been through since I was 3 is over, and I've moved on even before it was over.. I tried to commit suicide once and my cutting that weren't real cuts turned severely large and deep, all over my forearms and my thighs and my stomach. I'm in therapy but I don't feel better.. even with all my support, my boyfriend, and my mom I still want to continue to cut and commit suicide. I started smoking cigarettes since this mid-summer cause I thought it would be better then scaring myself, but it doesn't help anymore... Even today I want to cut and perhaps do an over dose, cause it just seems really good to me.. Even though I know that people care for me I just... somehow don't care.. On some level perhaps you know that people care, but you clearly don't FEEL that love yet. Trauma closes you off from that, and it makes it very very hard for the people around you to truly show you how much you mean to them. Suicide is never the answer. I've slept in the back of a car, several months pregnant, in 28 degree weather. And believe me I wanted to die. But I realized that more than how badly I wanted to die, I wanted TO LIVE. Not just exist, but FEEL alive. Krista, what you say here tells me that you have quite a few people in your life that are fighting for you. Please open your eyes and see them. They're there with you, and for you, and now so are the people in this guild. We can make it through this with you. You just have to be willing to hold on for us. Can you do that? I know everyone I know is there... I know I'm cared for, I know I'm loved by others, but again... I care about them but another part just wants to rot away in a pit /:
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 12:03 pm
Garret-Jones Yume Kara Sasayaku Garret-Jones I'm Krista, 16.. I've been cutting since i was 12, and Suicidal since... forever... I recently got diagnosed with Depression since March 2012, and also PTSD. And a few weeks ago my doctor realized how severe my depression really is. Even though what I've been through since I was 3 is over, and I've moved on even before it was over.. I tried to commit suicide once and my cutting that weren't real cuts turned severely large and deep, all over my forearms and my thighs and my stomach. I'm in therapy but I don't feel better.. even with all my support, my boyfriend, and my mom I still want to continue to cut and commit suicide. I started smoking cigarettes since this mid-summer cause I thought it would be better then scaring myself, but it doesn't help anymore... Even today I want to cut and perhaps do an over dose, cause it just seems really good to me.. Even though I know that people care for me I just... somehow don't care.. On some level perhaps you know that people care, but you clearly don't FEEL that love yet. Trauma closes you off from that, and it makes it very very hard for the people around you to truly show you how much you mean to them. Suicide is never the answer. I've slept in the back of a car, several months pregnant, in 28 degree weather. And believe me I wanted to die. But I realized that more than how badly I wanted to die, I wanted TO LIVE. Not just exist, but FEEL alive. Krista, what you say here tells me that you have quite a few people in your life that are fighting for you. Please open your eyes and see them. They're there with you, and for you, and now so are the people in this guild. We can make it through this with you. You just have to be willing to hold on for us. Can you do that? I know everyone I know is there... I know I'm cared for, I know I'm loved by others, but again... I care about them but another part just wants to rot away in a pit /: I know it feels that way, but you are stronger than that part of you. That part doesn't own you, and shouldn't have the power to take away the things that are RIGHT in your life. You can do this <3
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Whisper the Lightbringer Captain
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