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Harmony, Hope And Healing

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A support group for those who struggle with self-harm, depression, mental illness, and serious life issues 

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When Well Meaning People Go Too Far

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Whisper the Lightbringer
Captain

Mythical Lightbringer

PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 4:14 pm


Ever since my mental illness became a debilitating part of my life, I have lost many many friends who felt that I should just "think positive" and surely my mental illness would just vanish. I was trying in vain to save a friendship today, after someone blamed me for my illness, and told me it was my fault because I was "too negative." There are so many people out there who believe that positive thinking is some kind of magic power, and that with it we can wipe away the REALITY of people's lives and their illnesses. Positive thinking is a tool, but it is not a cure, and it cannot actively remove the things that are wrong in a person's life. I found a great article on this today, and felt that I would like to share it. It's important to have this perspective as sufferers, and as helpers when we try to reach out to others in pain:

http://freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason/2013/03/14/does-telling-people-to-think-positive-actually-help-an-informal-survey-and-some-protips/
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 1:01 pm


I know this is an old post, but this kind of stuff is something that really affects myself and my some of my friends. This part here really struck a chord:

Quote:
1. Mental Illness

One of the worst things about disorders like depression and anxiety is that they rob you of your ability to be hopeful and think positively. It’s not that you’re not trying, it’s that you can’t. So, when someone’s dealing with sadness, stress, pessimism, etc. that’s brought on by a mental illness as opposed to just “faulty” thinking, telling them to “fix” their thinking isn’t going to be helpful.

I had to take part in a therapy thing they called the Intensive Outpatient Program (or IOP) where we had to meet up three times a week for three hours in the morning and it was all the CBT and DBT forms of therapy, which I'm not a huge fan of. I guess I can't see how it can help me personally. I'll include some links that may hopefully explain those better than I would... DBT Explaination - CBT Explaination

Both have to do with "changing your way of thinking".. usually for the positive. Which isn't a bad thing to do. One thing I like about CBT is that it introduces you to terms for behaviors you might be doing so you may be able to recognize them and may be able to do something about them. The problem I have though is that if I am severely depressed, I'm probably not in my right mind to act the way they want you to when you recognize that you're doing one of those "bad things." Any other time when I'm feeling pretty normal, I'm fine to tell that I may be being overly pessimistic about something.

There's a reason they call it "mental illness", you're ill. You can't just "think positive" and "snap out of it." These comparisons are all over the place, but that's like telling someone who has a head cold to just get over it.

Sorry about the rant kind of... This kind of stuff sort of ticks me off. Good article, though.

Vocken

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Whisper the Lightbringer
Captain

Mythical Lightbringer

PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 7:13 am


Vocken
I know this is an old post, but this kind of stuff is something that really affects myself and my some of my friends. This part here really struck a chord:

Quote:
1. Mental Illness

One of the worst things about disorders like depression and anxiety is that they rob you of your ability to be hopeful and think positively. It’s not that you’re not trying, it’s that you can’t. So, when someone’s dealing with sadness, stress, pessimism, etc. that’s brought on by a mental illness as opposed to just “faulty” thinking, telling them to “fix” their thinking isn’t going to be helpful.

I had to take part in a therapy thing they called the Intensive Outpatient Program (or IOP) where we had to meet up three times a week for three hours in the morning and it was all the CBT and DBT forms of therapy, which I'm not a huge fan of. I guess I can't see how it can help me personally. I'll include some links that may hopefully explain those better than I would... DBT Explaination - CBT Explaination

Both have to do with "changing your way of thinking".. usually for the positive. Which isn't a bad thing to do. One thing I like about CBT is that it introduces you to terms for behaviors you might be doing so you may be able to recognize them and may be able to do something about them. The problem I have though is that if I am severely depressed, I'm probably not in my right mind to act the way they want you to when you recognize that you're doing one of those "bad things." Any other time when I'm feeling pretty normal, I'm fine to tell that I may be being overly pessimistic about something.

There's a reason they call it "mental illness", you're ill. You can't just "think positive" and "snap out of it." These comparisons are all over the place, but that's like telling someone who has a head cold to just get over it.

Sorry about the rant kind of... This kind of stuff sort of ticks me off. Good article, though.


I think the majority of people with mental illness have felt the need to have this same rant. People mean well, but if you do not experience the pain of mental illness yourself, you don't truly understand what it feels like. It IS hard for those around us to cope with the way we can't seem to pull ourselves out of it, and how we seem to be always negative and difficult to be around. The problem is, giving up on someone who is suffering is not the answer. You know your true friends when you look around you and see who is still there, even on your worst days.
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Harmony, Hope, and Healing

 
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