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I am not really nervous, but I am disappointed. Summers always seem so short. I have already been doing work for school for the last month, acting as a translator for a couple of credits of study. I am not afraid to begin, but school has always been such a dreadful bore to me. Normally lyrics and poems do not reflect my attitudes, they are always too simplistic, but Tears For Fears said it well:

All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.
Bright and early for their daily races, going nowhere, going nowhere.
And their tears are filling up their glasses, no expression, no expression.
Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow. No tomorrow, no tomorrow.

I will wake up in the morning and see everyone running about aimless, not for the sake of scholarship and learning, but for the sake of acquiring credibility that is measured on printed paper, not in intellect and accomplishment. So I have been hiding tonight, drowning in melancholy, and dreading tomorrow, as the song says:

...made to feel the way that every child should, sit and listen, sit and listen.
I went to school and I was very nervous, no one knew me, no one knew me.
Hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson, look right through me, look right through me...
When people run in circles it's a very, very mad world...

Tomorrow is the beginning of one year of this madness, which will be the first of four before graduate school, another five or more then! And then after 9+ years of this madness, I must get a job and every day shall be running in circles, accomplishing nothing, and being measured not by real merit but by material possession and all sorts of vapid shallowness.

It depresses me. I feel like this was the last summer until the madness of petty adult life catches up with me. Today is the last day of my youth before marching out aimlessly into a very, very mad world...

Good night, and may "the dreams in which [you are] dying" not be "the best [you] have ever had".

(Tears For Fears, "Mad World" wink