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You know, for being a day that I've been looking forward to, today really sucked. I mean, I haven't thought about what it would be like if I died in a while. First of all, there's that thing that happened with Gina (which we ended up talking more about today), then there was a message from Brandy saying she wouldn't be on until sunday, so I check her journal, yeah she won't be on because she probably had too much and got alcohol poisoning. Not only that, but she's pretty upset with me. If I make one person happy someone else seems to suffer. Besides that, there's the fact that, yeah Matt is 2, but he's 2 already. Gina's friends resent me, and I had to put up with their stares for a couple of hours, and that really sucked. It didn't help that when Wolfman came and sat down on the couch, his cigs fell out of his pocket stressed Matt, Gina, and her friends left and I was left with Wolfman and his girlfriend. Except, somehow, me and Wolfman started to argue, and his girlfriend chimed in and I snapped at her too, so he got even more pissed at me. I can't even remember what it was about now. When everybody finally left, the first thing I did was grab my schrade and head to the shower. I was thinking about making a vital cut, but remembered that it was Matt's b-day and that would really suck. Not to mention he wouldn't get the money from my life policy.

so, Brandy has disappeared, Montana4life is pissed off at me because she thinks me and Brandy were dating and that I lied to her, Wolfman and his girl are pissed at me, I already had Gina's friends hating me, my family hates me, hehe, it's easier if I list the people who don't hate me. Lets see.. Rocky.. Matt (we had a lot of fun today), maybe Gina, but she's going to for sure later.

oh yeah.. i forgot to add that I not only used coke, but I injected it...
I kind of feel better, but I also kind of hate myself more
maybe someone will shoot me and steal my wallet if I walk around some ghetto area