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The beginnings are the end, the end is continuing. Forever lasting madness ensues.
Hmm, it's odd. I've been feeling more like before again. Before it all.
I guess it's because I've been locked away in my cupboard, or at least because I haven't seen for a while. It's actually quite annoying, because a) I know I need to change, and it's harder if I don't feel. b) I know that I'm going to start feeling again, and I hate it. c) I hate the reasoning behind it all. It's stupid that it makes me feel. It's stupid that everytime, it makes me feel. It's not supposed to, it's meant to make me FEEL! But it's slightly different to before because now I know.
And it just pisses be off.... because I can't get it out of my head and I can't get my head out and I can't stop......
I can't start.....
I can't....

I can't.


I just can't.


And it's starting again now, I can feel it. I have to stop this madness.

It felt like a leap, but a step has been taken. And I stood on a tack. The madness continues, it seems worse than before, but I know now. I know. And yet I don't understand, I never did understand. Never could.... never would.
Or maybe I do understand, yet I cannot comprehend.



I can never comprehend. The madness continues, always threatening to overcome. It must end, yet I cannot end it. It will forever continue.