a brighter day
my cousin and i are starting to get along a lot better now sort of how we used to be.too bad she will be leaving in a few weks cause then once again i won't have anybody to play with.well i guess i can figure something out.i got to go to klahoma st.on the 2nd cause it was sarah's birthday.i had soooooo much fun xd .i loved and cherished every minute of it.i also got to play in the rain.i love playing in the rain.it is so freeing.i got to hangout with kayla,myra,sarah,donovan for a little while,amber,and i got to see kody.i was so happy to see them.i still didn't get to see khris,justin,and daniel though.everybody is growing up and getting jobs.i liked it when we were all years away form being within age groups of getting jobs.back when we depended on yard work and allowance to get money and we didn't care about boyfriends and girlfriends.we were so carefree.all we worried about was what game to play and our parents yelling at us and homework.it was heaven.ah i remember the day me,donovan,and amber got caught swimming in a off limit lake.that was so much fun.the patrol people or whoever theywere only let usgo cause theydidn't feel like calling the cops for the 3rd time that week.we had to get dress in front of a 2 old men.it was quite creepy.fun tough.we smelled like fish for the rest of the day.i can't believe i got caught in a bikini.the one time EVER in my life i decide to wear that blasted thing i get caught by 2 old men.poor amber she was swimming in her undergarments. blaugh lol.that was a fun day.anyways i can't wait for the next time i can go over there.i hope i get to see the others next time.anyways i am in too much of a good mood to go into some big hoopla abot how oh so sad i am or whatever.i always hated talking about that stuff.i usually have no problem telling britta those things though.something about her makes me feel comfortable with telling her my emotions.like with corey for some reason i just can't tell him.i don't know why.does that make me a bad girlfriend? confused or maybe i'm not and just need more time then most people do to get comfortable enough with someone to tell somebody these things?i dunno.or maybe there is something about corey that makes feel like it just isn't the right thing to talk about at the momment?well anyways i DO know that i can tell britta these things so her moving is living hell for me and not healthy for my emotions cause now i am all bottled up and finding myself typing about half of my emotions on the internet for the world to see.i can write my emotions down for the world but i can't speak them for anybody who isn't britta.how ******** up am i?..what the hell am i doing i shouldn't be telling ya'll these things and let you know the innerworkings of my mind?well at least i didn't spill out everything.as long as ya'll don't know everything then all is well.besides this stuff is like half of what i have to say and i didn't fully go in to depth of all the things that were ever written in this stupid journal.soooo technically i haven't told ya'll much.ok now i feel a much better...sigh...phew for a second there i was feeling overly exposed. sweatdrop ...man ok thats it for now on no more internet journals for me.this is my last entry that explain any of my thoughts in.for now on nothing deeper then how bored i am and how much i miss britta....this is wierd bye.
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