Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Hoo-pla
Sorting time:

I'm missing something, so what am i missing?
probably just my mind

drugs, is it because I'm missing drugs? Or am I missing something I replaced with drugs?

Maybe its not even drugs

and why do I have so many different personalities?
why should each group of people experience a different me?

unless it's necessary

like frantic was necessary sometimes, but not other times--other times frantic wouldn't have meshed well with the actual me
but I frantic no longer exists, and I think that's good since its more dangerous

i still want something exciting though
what is exciting now? I don't think feeling like different organs are failing is exciting--but I can't think of things that aren't self-destructive and also exciting.






User Comments: [21] [add]
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:05pm
"******** a bunch of people"

is that what I was supposed to do?

I guess I could--but how would that make me feel better?
I've tried that before, I don't think it worked

but I don't know what does work.

Do I work as a person in general? If I don't make sense to even myself, probably not
but sometimes I make sense

wait

YOU ******** a bunch of people
and tell me how that works out

eh...
good thing its usually dark--the 3-hole gall bladder scar would be hard to explain otherwise


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:17pm
I don't want to ******** a bunch of people though, I don't want you to either..


And what do you mean "good thing it's usually dark" ?



Nefer-Shai
Community Member
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:19pm
I don't want to be bored--or lonely

I mostly don't want to be lonely


stare That's stupid, I make it so I am
well.. I did buy rocky, so it's like I bought a companion
which doesn't seem right at all--except I think its okay because rocky seems to benefit from it

am i going to go back out with her?
do I want to or not---and that guy across from me needs to stop staring at me, it's weird. We're not at Purdue University--I think he's confused.

But then who do i want?
I always pick wrong.
deserters, cheaters, or controlling ones

let's see... now i would have had a child, and it would be a few months old--if she didn't kill it that is. That was a waste. At least I didn't have to put up with her bitching about that too though.

that's right, I don't even know if I can have children--it was supposed to get better if I stopped drugs, but it may have been to long anyways

that's probably a good thing for society
"I spread disease like a dog"
I should have moved to south dakota

or to arkansas--How did I not know that? I wonder what else I don't know.
i guess I dont know what wolfman is doing at my house right now

I also dont know how long I'll actually stay at my parents
I dont think I'll go back today though--I can't stand it over there

yesterday was the superbowl and i didn't get to watch it with gramps, that sucked, but I did get to watch it with matt--he'll probably end up being in ballet or something xd

I dont even know why i'm in school now.. its kinda pointless, i'm just going to drop out later

what if i still want to go out and do crazy things? am I allowed to do that?
i think i can do what I want


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:23pm
its dark, so nobody can see
whee

I got bored yesterday



mxvsatv
Community Member
Nefer-Shai
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:24pm
what do you mean?


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:26pm
what am i even writing, its all nonsense when i try to read it back

i slept a lot over the weekend, that was nice, maybe I'll get my head

but I won't recognize it without the drugs, it was cloudy, but I could understand

now its going to be clear--and confusing

*sighs*



mxvsatv
Community Member
Nefer-Shai
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:27pm
what do you mean?

woah.. popped up twice


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:29pm
Generally, its not bright where your having sex



mxvsatv
Community Member
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:31pm
That was a good idea.. I should just wait, waiting doesn't hurt much of anything--except waiting for drugs, that hurts, which is why there is a hole in my elbow.. xp

it looks like an ink-pen attacked me... i just wished it was a needle


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:33pm
so much for not ******** a bunch of people, huh?



Nefer-Shai
Community Member
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:33pm
I didn't say that i did.


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:37pm
..the battery died.. right in mid-song, it could have held out until the end, but i think it chose to die because it didn't realize that was only half-way through the song



mxvsatv
Community Member
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 06:43pm
unleash?
rofl


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 08:57pm
damn... I need to get rid of the governor on the speed of the truck, it won't let me get past 122--and I was going downhill...

good thing I have the gixer xd

I know I was at 180.. but I couldn't look down after that and was going faster--that was worth skipping class

never miss a chance to play in the fog--yeah its hard to see--but that means that the cops can't see either



mxvsatv
Community Member
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 09:24pm
contacts don't feel good today.. so why the hell am I making my eyes suffer?

I'm wearing glasses the rest of the day


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 09:30pm
why does that still bother me?

******** a bunch of people

maybe cause that's how you think of me
I'm not really interested in.. anyone, except maybe me, but I dumped myself already



mxvsatv
Community Member
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 09:32pm
gonk i don't like that video


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 09:41pm
What video?



Nefer-Shai
Community Member
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Feb 05, 2008 @ 04:20am
nothing, no video


commentCommented on: Tue Feb 05, 2008 @ 04:21am
Um.. okay



Nefer-Shai
Community Member
mxvsatv
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Feb 05, 2008 @ 04:26am
its so foggy now! I had to stick my head out of the window to see the road


User Comments: [21] [add]
 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum