Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

you know, I was in a good mood most the entire day. but just a couple seconds ago, I went on sara ruf's profile on myspace and I am now SO ******** pissed.
on the day before she said that she wanted to go "on break" not the actual break up, I was talking to her on the phone for a while. she spoke of a wonderful time she had with her friends, Milli, Eric, her sister ect...she spoke of how they hung out in her room and watched movies and such and then went to play basket ball. she spoke of how Eric would flirt with her and how her friends were trying to tell her that he liked her and that they should get together.
this pissed me off. you see, her sister knew that she and I were boyfriend and girlfriend. she said that I was a good choice for sara, and things like that. I knew that sara's friends knew that she and I were boyfriend and girlfriend the past two weeks. Why would they let Eric do what he did...actually no, .....why would they ENCOURAGE Eric to do what he was doing!?
they day after she said that she wanted to go on break so that she could work things out with her a*****e ex Mike. I had went along with it for a day or two before I told her that the concept of a "break" was asinine, I wanted her to be my girlfriend, and I didn't want her dating other guys while she was with me, so we broke up.

now I went to her myspace because she had a bulletin saying "comment on my pictures" I looked at them and there he was, Eric. and whats worse, sara was smiling when he had his arm around her.

I knew for so long about this but the anger never hit me at full force until now. that picture made me so angry and depressed I am shaking. her friends betrayed me by trying to get her with Eric, she never let Eric know that she and I were dating, all of this and of course my friend gore telling me that she believes sara was cheating on me with a guy I never questioned her about.

I wish I could cry, but for some reason I can't, all I can do is shake and wonder why all of the girls I date end up filling me with emotions I don't want.
I need a new girl, a good one, one who gives a damn about me, one who would not let me feel the way I do now, and the only girls I know that actually make me feel happy are taken or make apparent time after time that they could care less if I fall off the earth.