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(this is not to you) you've been on my mind more than usual lately, i'm not sure if that's triggered by the time-frame or what but i've figured out, that all i really want to know, is if you are alright if i can know that, then i don't think i'd have to worry about what happened to you anymore i dont want to try to be happy, if i don't know that you are nobody around here talks about you, like you weren't even here in the first place--i wonder if that would have made it easier for me i always end up finding your mom, and asking her if she's heard anything, and she always tells me no, but that she'll call me if she does, or tell you to call me, but every time the phone rings and its not you, its like i'm even farther from being able to talk to you just call or visit or even e-mail me tell me if you're alright or not, and if you're not alright, then let me make it alright for you

Posted by: mxvsatv Wed Feb 13, 2008 @ 05:24pm

[img:12a3618e2d]http://z.about.com/d/urbanlegends/1/0/C/3/badday.jpg[/img:12a3618e2d]

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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Wed Feb 13, 2008 @ 05:27pm


	yeah.. i thought i'd feel better after that.. but no, its not really doing much for me

Commented on: Wed Feb 13, 2008 @ 06:24pm


	I should really be working on my paper... but I don't really feel like it

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Wed Feb 13, 2008 @ 06:39pm


	let's see.. has it been 5 years? i feel like i'm starting to forget what you look and sound like but i still remember your intense eyes and what you said just before you kissed me goodbye

Commented on: Thu Feb 14, 2008 @ 04:34am


	i hate going to bed

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Thu Feb 14, 2008 @ 05:10pm


	Albatross--Corrosion of Conformity Well I'm feelin' left behind, Lord what a waste of time They're coming to get you, run on How can I respect your crime When all you criminals whine They bought and sold you, run on, run on You can call me crazy You can call me wrong Cause I was born a liar Albatross fly on, fly on My home is kind, man it pays to be blind I promise to forget you run on No swallowed pride, no conspiracy lined Broken promise of the virtue, run on, Lord run on You can call me lazy But I know where I belong Cause I was born a liar Albatross, fly on, fly on With your trust in love from your God above... I believe the Albatross is me You can call me lazy You can call me wrong Cause I was born a liar Albatross, fly on, fly on I should have seen the signs Now the memories far behind It was no big loss, Fly on, Albatross yeah

Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 04:31am


	i feel like, i should have waited longer for her but, how long should you wait before moving on? and technically.. we never broke up.. she just.. disappeared

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 04:33am


	o-well.. once i sell this, i'll have $1,000 or close to it

Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 04:36am


	i guess.. i just want my distance--not to be too close

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 04:42am


	sherri says rae treated me like s**t, but did she? and i know "it" does i guess.. i just need to think about this new project and keep finding ways of getting more money, i really don't have a problem taking from others anymore

Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 05:44pm


	Message: Got this for you but.. yeah, you can do whatever with it I guess. Doesn't really matter anymore, right? I mean you'd obviously much rather be with some girl who literally just ****** disappeared on you, who's made no effort to contact you or her mother apparently. Insead of someone who loves and cares for you and is actually, you know, here. I know I'm not there right** now, but you'd only have to wait until may, you don't actually have to wait that long, but you decided may, so may. And I'm sorry, but from what I've heard about her, Sherri does seem right, she didn't seem to treat you so great hun. And I realize, you're probably going to be upset with me and I'm probably going to regret saying this tomorrow, but not saying it, is killing me, so.. I'm sorry if you're upset now, really I am, but I had to tell you. I love you, Brendan. Happy Valentine's Day i could argue that nothing does matter you don't know her reasons anymore than i do, maybe i was the cause for her problems, so she decided it was best not to make contact her mom could just as easily be lying about her calling her, plus, I'm not exactly easy to find, i got a new cell phone # about a year after she left, and soon after than, I went to new york maybe exactly, but that probably wouldn't change anything now, no, probably not since I don't have a job--but that's a whole other set of issues. Plus.. i'll probably go back to sustainable drug use because that was the best time-frame--you'd be out of school, have a chance to get your license since it'll be warm and not snowy, maybe i'll have more put together by then too--except not anymore its coming from sherri... what do you expect it to sound like? i dont think it was directed at me. I stayed up till 4am some nights trying to calm her down after she felt like killing herself and barely got to sleep before school, i can't blame that on her though--i also think she was using that money to buy drugs, and if she did have a violent fit, she was usually noticeably on something--besides, that's only the bad things, there were way more good instances so.. its okay to say things like that because you love me? oh, and this.. yeah, lets pretend like everything is okay now you don't have the answers --i don't either, but i know way more about it

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 06:21pm


	i should leave for somewhere this weekend--hell its not like i have a job and can't do that but, where the hell could I go? i dont like being alone--but i don't like to get too close either sherri talks to her, but vanessa doesn't.. i guess i'll use her to get out of this house and back into mine though.. the 16 yr old is 17 now, and keeps texting annoying messages, i wonder what would happen if i replied no.. vanessa has way more to offer

Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 06:25pm


	who was that yesterday? i'm sure she told me her name whatever, she wasn't much fun, i should have taken more i need my heart back gonk

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 06:34pm


	i don't think any amount of drugs will be able to replace where my heart was, but there's nothing else to turn to

Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 06:44pm


	wait, that's a stupid idea i need to find someone who wouldn't talk to sherri or my family--so they don't know too much about me i want someone slightly younger.. like.. 18-20 she can be a ditzy moron as long as she's hott hell.. i just need some arm candy--i haven't been seen with many women lately so i probably look out of it

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 09:07pm


	do i really want to just jump back into a bunch of meaningless relationships? its better than drugs i guess i'm not going to be here tonight for sure oh wait.. new idea.. bar scheme--but a few cities away--i need to look for a rich b***h yeah... that's a good idea, especially since it would be easy to find a depressed one--no valentine yesterday.. or... the overly-confident one because they had a date valentine's and want more today

Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 09:19pm


	I'm confused about this. Is there a reason you opened it for the public? And yes, Brendan, you do this every year, and yes, I always tell you that you do this every year but it happens anyway. It's been so long, so just drop it already. She's not coming back and even if she did, she would understand.

Fox_Riders_Girl
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 09:28pm


	I opened it so that you wouldn't bother Brandy asking where I was this weekend.

Commented on: Sat Feb 16, 2008 @ 04:16am


	Brendan you never said where you were going. Where are you? Your mom already called and asked if I have seen you, and I know that you usually log in about 9:00. Why did you leave their house? I know that you turned your phone off.

Fox_Riders_Girl
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Sat Feb 16, 2008 @ 04:20am


	Okay, I am on your account. You make it more difficult each time, but I know you too well I guess. You need to come back home.

Commented on: Sat Feb 16, 2008 @ 05:50pm


	stay off

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Sat Feb 16, 2008 @ 06:12pm


	******, ****, ****** the other muffler is broken and has to be fixed... stupid rust

Commented on: Sat Feb 16, 2008 @ 07:17pm


	so much for not being the kind of preson who goes off and ******** a buncho f people, eh hun?

Nefer-Shai
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Sun Feb 17, 2008 @ 03:37am


	you can think of it that way if you want its freezing.. i had to take the motorcycle since the truck's exhaust is broken

Commented on: Sun Feb 17, 2008 @ 08:24am


	coulda ended better...

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Sun Feb 17, 2008 @ 05:23pm


	I think i made $900-1100 this weekend yeah and.. you told me that you wouldn't drink, but you did, I'm incredibly pissed I didn't even drink much since i had to drive the Gixer not only that, but i knew i had to watch Matt today i guess its not your fault though-i seem to make people closest to me crazy and ruin large portions of their lives

Commented on: Sun Feb 17, 2008 @ 05:28pm


	still, you said you wouldn't so instead of being able to stay out, I get lovely calls from sherri about you getting ****** up, what is my problem for treating you like st, and whatever else she wanted to say

mxvsatv
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mxvsatv
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Commented on: Sun Feb 17, 2008 @ 07:27pm


	how long do i plan on doing this? especially if matts going to live here a lot more with me soon..

Commented on: Sun Feb 17, 2008 @ 07:32pm


	yeah.. i really need to get some things straight

mxvsatv
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Miss_Keiko
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Commented on: Tue Mar 04, 2008 @ 04:37am


	"tell me if you're alright or not, and if you're not alright, then let me make it alright for you" That's probably my new favorite thing you've ever said to me.

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