Why should I try to be some one who I am not? I do not know why I thought of that. But I did. I do not know why but I have changed in many ways than one. Ever since my brake up with Jamie Pullen I've been changing the way I am. But people loved the old me and now people hate the new me. But I do not know why I am chaning. Is it because I am full of sadness and pain that I want to be left alone left in the dark and many other things? Or is it because I let myself love someone who I even knew would brake my heart? What is it? Why can't I be who I was without hurting? Why? Why? Why?
I guess I am not the girl I used to be. I am being independent yet also dependent. I seem to not be able to make up my mind. I guess ever since Jamie I've been scared yet mad and sad. The sadness crept inside of me once again I am filled with sorrow. How can I stop this loneliness? Does anybody know? Can you tell me if someone can help me? Or am I stuck with seeing the guy I love walk around head held high when mine is pionted to the ground. What did I do to diserve to be hurt and shamfull. Why is everyone going around and ruining my life. The one my friends and I built filled with security and hope. Plus where did the warmth of my heart go. It seems it has disappeared. Like I have no heart anymore. Why is God punishing me so? Is it because I have sinned beyound reason? Or is it because I loved someone while not being true to who I am? I know I was sad before I met Jamie. But with him I was truely happy. I was! But now more sadness is in my life. Why God? Why are you punishing me?!?!?!?!?
LaKeesha · Sun Aug 28, 2005 @ 08:57pm · 0 Comments |