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Just keep reading, just keep reading...
mule's journal. ain't she cute?
Stay awake tonight
Forget about your last goodbyes, you wont be sorry.

Ralph, Edwin and Anthony came over today. It was fun, as usual. We stayed in my room all day, basically. Played some football. Listened to some music, watched some stuff.

Today was really special though. I got a ring today from Ralph. The first time a boy's ever seriously given me a ring. And now I feel special.

We're not the same people we were when we started out, he and I. We've turned eachother into something else, something quite different. Very different. People grow up on their own, but when you have someone there to help you out, somebody to fall on and catch at the same time, it's nice. It's a nice age to be in love, really. I'm still figuring out who I am, still wondering what I'll be in a few years and still laying out some plans. Foundation. And I guess it's just nice to have someone next to me who's helping me out, who's going through the same thing.

I guess it's always nice to have a companion and all, but my case is special. I never want to let him go. I want him with me now just like I wanted him with me when his foot touched ground outside the car.

It sucks how my feelings can go from one extreme to the other with the opening of a few doors and few goodbyes. Door closes and everything kinda falls apart like it usually does when he goes.

Eh, I guess I'm just mad that I cant have him with me all the time. It sucks I cant just...go to his house now and cuddle my eyeballs out. Cause that'd be awesome, but it cant happen.

Yet.

I cant wait till I have a car and gas money.

And a few allibis. surprised






User Comments: [9] [add]
~xChapstickx~
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 03:53am
I want what you have.

So badly it's not even funny. You're so lucky you at least get to touch him and kiss him and be with him. I'd give anything for that right now. I'm so in love and unable to release what I feel.

Just remember what it was like when he was gone.
That's how I feel. sad


commentCommented on: Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 03:59am
Man, Rya...It hurts just to think of it, to re-live those little thoughts and clips of when he was gone.

I know you can be strong. Though I'm really baffled and puzzled as to how you can be that exceptionally strong, I know you can be, so hang in there.

And hey, maybe later when the time is right and conveniant, you can get what you want, eh?



e.m.i.l.y
Community Member
eMiLyxthexdancer
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 09:05pm
i dunno what to get ya for your b-day, but i'm working on it.... xd


commentCommented on: Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 09:33pm
You don't have to get me a thing! gonk



e.m.i.l.y
Community Member
eMiLyxthexdancer
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 09:44pm
stop right there! lauren, pleeeeeassssseeeeeeeee! i'm going to no matter what you say... muahahaha! twisted


commentCommented on: Tue Aug 30, 2005 @ 01:02am
I'm not strong Lauren.
I know I appear to be, but I'm so weak and have a wounded soul.
I ******** up so many things, not really wanting to. </off topic>


And I already know I'm not getting what I want. I can't accept it though and everyday I want it more and I know I need to let go and I don't want to and gah.

Just ignore my emo-ness.



~xChapstickx~
Community Member
e.m.i.l.y
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Aug 30, 2005 @ 01:05am
I want to hug you. sad


commentCommented on: Tue Aug 30, 2005 @ 01:12am
I want you to hug me. cry



~xChapstickx~
Community Member
e.m.i.l.y
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Aug 30, 2005 @ 01:17am
I don't know what to say to make you feel better, I feel so useless. gonk


User Comments: [9] [add]
 
 
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