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Something happened to me, I dont't know if it was the one night stand or the people who're ripping out my soul, but I feel like sayin that I've grown empty. I wake everyday and I rely on immediate fulliment. I get the feeling that tomorrow's not gonna matter. My heart crawled away an I'm here nursing a shell. I belive this is a higher plan, but right now it's hard to believe. I can't feel anything, I wish I cared for someone or something, but my heart just won't give. No one around me matters, if they or I die tomorrow, I wouldn't shead a tear. The thing torturing me isn't that this could happen, but, that I just don't care anymore. God loves me, yet he curses me this way, I truely believe this disconnection is something he'd decieded I have to suffer through. But moments like this, they're killing my heart. I can merely hold onto my faith and pray that God is carrying me through those footsteps in the sand. Someday's I truely feel alone, other days I feel the Lord is holding me tight. Unfortunately, I feel alone all too often. I don't care though, I'll suffer this Hell. My peace is beyond this purgatory of life. I've seen the lows and the highs that will tempt me. I know the reason to say yes to then, I know the purpose that gives me hope to say no. I can't, in good faith, say either way. But I feel despite my circumstances I'm making a choice that will change someone someway somehow.

{If you're a theologan (sp?) or just another philosopher, pm me. I love a good debate.}