i hate having to type these...
until a few nights ago, i would never have believed i could keep kidding myself for so long... i don't know... yesterday i spent the whole day looking for kaya so i could break up with him... when i first decided i was going to, i didn't really know why... so i thought long and hard about it... then i realized that the answer was right in front of me... i realized that (and this sounds kind of wierd saying it, and i never thought i would have ever been able to write it) all i could think about was him... the thing that i wanted most, was 4 him to be happy, even tho im pretty sure i made him irritated alot... i also knew that he wasn't happy with going out with me... he should be going out with someone better... like that holly girl... so because i knew it would make him happy, i decided right then and there that i would end it... at least one of us would have to... i was sorta scared, cause i used to hang in the same group of people as him, and i was really really afraid that it would be awkward... hmmm... i guess not... suprisingly, the only thing that pisses me off the most is seeing him with tory... makes me feel wierd... i actually hope he is not reading this, because i don't want to make have to think about me... if he does im screwed...
cuz... i... kinda sorta... still... love him... even i dont know why... part of me really wants to know... the other part just wishes i could forget him... i guess im glad i can finally admit it...
kaya, if u have been reading this, then just know that i never meant to hurt you (if i did), or fall in love with you (cuz i did), and that i just wish we could be friends (cuz i REALLY do)... peace
 sgrbeebuggy911 · Sat Dec 13, 2008 @ 06:34am · 1 Comments |
