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thank you for pointing out what should be obvious.. but of course.. since i'm in it, i can't really see it.. and i'm disecting it cause it helps me sort

"It's like.. the excitement of something shiny and new combined with the comfort of something old that you know. And you're happy and everything goes good for a couple of weeks. "
yeah.. okay.. i can see that pattern.. and its usually intensified by how long we were seperated

"But then the shiny newness wears off and you generally just see her as an annoying b***h who blows a bunch of your money."

well.. yeah, she is annoying sometimes, and likes to buy a lot of stuff.. it seems better now though, i mean, she buys all her own s**t with her money that she earned.. the annoying thing.. like.. always asking where i'm going, how long i'll be gone.. things that i didn't let my mother ask.. yeah, that gets old really quick

"An everytime you first get back together you say the same things like you've been living in a haze and now you're not or whatever and you've been so confused and now you're not.. "

so.. if i say that i feel that way now.. i'm just following my pattern..
well that sucks..

"which is.. what you also usually do when you get back with rachel and what you did when you were first with d as well.. except with rachel it usually lasts like a day at the most, then you're just too ******** up to care"

hehe, now wait, why are we bringing up non-sherri? but yeah.. i just dont know what to do about it


"you keep telling me how much of a whore she's apparently turned into and then you turn around and try to get back with her again?"

she did get whorish.. that bothers me

"an it's always after you've been feeling lonely for a while and stressed out and have been doing drugs again but you're not screwed up enough to not see how horrible an idea it is to get back with rachel yet, so you go for her
then you usually get sick of her, but usually don't tell her to get lost or anything, you're married now, you can't really do that anymore.. and eventually she gets sick of you too.. you don't love her even though she married you knowing that you didn't, you're firting with other chicks, whatever, then she leaves"

and i was lonely and stressed.. sometimes going back to drugs.. crap
so really.. this is probably not what i want