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Today I slept in a half hour. This was mistake #1. As I rished myself to be ready and out the door before the school is overloaded with buses, I wonder if I should have left myself in bed. I need a break. But there are too many things to worry about to have time for that. There's school, work around the house, and all the timespanning tasks that should be done by an unnamed person *coughRaycough*. Instead, he sits on his butt playing his games. I used to constantly play games. Good ones at that. Not Jackass-esque products like the Eds. He constantly complains that I don't get out as much as I should (I would if I didn't have all this to wory about). He says that he goes out more than me, but that's becomeing more and more true with each day he spends infront of the glowing black box. Too much stress, too much work, too much everything. I wish that I could have a few days to unwind. That's what the weekend's for. Instead, it's used to work on things around the house. They say they want to fix up the rest of the house so that everything looks nice. But I have the feeling that after that's all said and done, and after I leave to where ever after graduating, they'll just sell off the house and move somewhere else. All that hard work for vurtually nothing. And they say foreigners get too much grunt work.

With each passing day and my 17th coming closer, I begin to wonder what I'm going to d othis year. Last week, it felt like an artistic year would be ahead of me this time around. Draing, creating. A regular Rennosabce (sp?) man. There's still hope. I may just be getting over my head. I can never seem to crack the code of my subcouncious. I guess that will be for another day. It's clear, from here. I'm losing my atmosphere, from here. I'm losing it.....