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Now Jordan and I haven't talked since the summer because she wanted to be with Dakota in West Virginia. I'd been planning to surprise Jordan and go to her for the last week of her trip and meet her father and stepmother. I wanted to marry her. But instead, I stood by and watched her fall for this kid Dakota and ruin her relationship with her best friends and I. After I saw that she'd taken down the pictures of her and I together I knew she wasn't in love with me anymore. Because she'd been ignoring me for a week, Jordan didn't notice as I deleted her from every aspect of my life. I took down pictures, blogs, quotes, my status changed to single, and I found that I no longer hurt. I had accepted that she'd never love me the way I loved her and there was no point in trying to help her anymore. She can drink, smoke pot, have sex with whoever, and kill herself in the process. As long as she stayed away, I didn't care. But she couldn't stay away. She wrote to me.

(11/16/09 3:52 PM):
Listen. I know you do not want to hear from me. And you'll probably have someone yell at me for talking to you. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I had a nightmare about you the other night and was the slightest bit worried. I heard you got a new girlfriend and were happy. I saw that you were at work when Tre was here visitng me. Even with him with me, I didn't have the courage to face you again... I hope you actually read this instead of just deleting me. We aren't anything anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't think about you from time to time. I'm not supposed to talk to you, so I'll end this here. Goodbye, Cricket. Things were good while they lasted, I guess. I'm really sorry for the way things went. </3 Bye Cricket.

I wish she had died.