"How Thanksgiving Came To Be"
So, it all started back in the day with Christopher Columbus and his Motley Crew of Merry Men. They wanted to be free of the English King and his tyranny, so they decided to ask for the aid of Moses to help free the Jewish people.
So, Moses rented three ships to get them across the sea; the Mayflower, the Santa Maria, and the U.S.S. Enterprise. For six days and seven nights, the three ships rocked on the high seas and travelled across the world.
Realizing that they made a wrong turn somewhere back at Albuquerque, Columbus turned the ships around and headed for the East coast of the U.S.A.; (This was before it became overrun by crazed lobster-men).
They landed and met an indian women named Sacagawea. She traded them rabbit furs for beer and helped them establish a new colony on this barren new land.
That first winter hit them hard though, and half of the pilgrims (as they came to call themselves [probably meaning "A pill that is grim"]) died.
Columbus, with his scientific mind and close connections to Kirk (Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise) came up with the idea of burning dried buffalo feces as a fire fuel.
The pilgrims rejoiced in this quick decision making. (However, another quarter of the remaining pilgrims died due to the stench of the fires...but who cares? The rest were saved!!!)
They all decided to hold a feast in honor of this historic event, and look! It landed right on the day of Thanksgiving to boot!
End
