Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I think B is going to abandon me after all...
Sure I have strong feelings for him but my main issue right now is that I'm worried about him, as a FRIEND. If he keeps turning down the path he's going, not only is it a path where he will wish me to no longer be his companion, but it will lead to his own self-destruction...
And as I said in an earlier entry, I don't know what I'd do without B...so really his destruction is mine as well. I have endured much these past 6 months, including rape (going on two now, folks), being beaten near unconscious by someone I thought was one of my closest friends (he was drunk and so I refused to hit back), and then ending a 2 year long relationship. On top of that, my grades are s**t and my depression is through the roof.
If I lose B...well, I don't know if I'll be able to hold on any longer. It'll just be the last straw. To me, B represents at least something hopeful in this s**t existence of mine. Something untouched by the monstrous side of me. I can't bare to watch him put himself through this. It's driving me mad. cry