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My fourth quarter pipe dreams seem more and more worth fighting for.
Though deep down I'm a p***y and I'm not going to do anything but lie.
Charles is sleeping on my floor to my right.
I'm typing because I can't sleep, well if I tried I probably could.
I just want to listen to music and feel sad though.
Painkillers and sex would be nice too.
I'm probably using my girlfriend, but I use everyone around me so whatever.
I think I might dump her, but I'd still hang around for her kid.
I know how abandonment feels, but like her kid is only two so maybe it's me.
I might be overcompensating for the fact of my shitty childhood.
I don't want to have someone else grow up to become this thing that I am.
Though I do enjoy the way she makes me feel.
It seems like she worships me in a way.
I can tell how happy I make her and I do enjoy it.
But there can be only one it seems.
Hurgh.
I can't do anything.
It's driving me crazy, but I love her.
Ugh.
******** me.
It's hard to explain I guess.
It's like once you love someone a certain way no one else compares.
Granted it isn't anywhere as bad as it was, it stills stings time to time.
I just need to get high.
Outward emotion isn't my thing so no one really knows what's going on.
I'm partly lying to my girlfriend about how she makes me feels.
I'm on the train of thought that maybe if I lie enough, I can convince myself.
I doubt it though, I was never good at fooling myself.
Ugh ********, I'm frustrated.
Video games aren't helping since Charles is here I can't masturbate freely.
I'll just go into the other bathroom.
Cumming, takes away the way she makes me feel piece by piece.
Maybe if I keep it up I can finally completely get over her.
I'm pathetic.

.-.

:/



This ******** song has been stuck in my head ever since I saw her at the goddamn beach and I've listened to it like 200 times since then.

"You're a part-time lover and a full-time friend,
The monkey on your back is the latest trend.
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train,
Kiss you all starry-eyed, my body swingin' from side to side.
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

Here is the church and here is the steeple,
We sure are cute for two ugly people.
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

Pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me,
So, why can't you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

I will find my nitch in your car,
With my MP3, DVD, rumple-packed guitar.
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, "b", "a", start.
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart.
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

You are always tryin' to keep it real,
I'm in love with how you feel.
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

We both have shiny, happy fits of rage,
You want more fans, I want more stage.
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

Don Quixote was a steel-driving man,
My name is Adam, I'm your biggest fan!
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

Scrunched up your face and did a dance,
Shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants.
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo but you."