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I'm so bored.
I still log onto this like everyday.
Whenever I'm in a queue or bored.
My life is still more or less the same.
I'm in college.
I've got a job.
I've got a s**t girlfriend.
I still hate myself and most of the people I see on a regular basis.
My I guess best friend joined the Marines.
I could have gone too.
I should have gone too.
I still have a bad memory.
I don't remember why I'm still here.
I don't remember how long I've been here.
Palmdale is pretty meh.
The valley is even more meh.
I feel like all I see is ghosts.
I have a new psychologist.
I left a notebook in a class.
And now someone new wants to pick my brain.
I've lied so much to everyone now I don't know what's true.
Scattered memories attached to melodies.
Forgotten feelings and repressed desires.
I hate this.
But life goes on.
That's what I was told to say.
Life goes on.
No matter what I do.
Life goes on.
With or without me.
Life goes on.
I could stab myself and no one would know.
Life goes on.
I could shoot myself with this fully loaded 9 and no one would know.
Life goes on.
I could rob the 7-11 on the corner and I could wait for people to know.
Life goes on.
I could continue to write music and stories and get published.
Life goes on.
I could marry a b***h and have little b***h kids.
Life goes on.
I could just snap her ******** neck.
Life goes on.
I could snap her whiny ******** bossy piece of s**t 3-year old's neck.
Life goes on.
I keep working out now.
Life goes on.
I'm getting ready.
Life goes on.
For what I don't really know but I'm feeling a calling.
Life goes on.
I've let go.
Life goes on.
If life is a river it's filled with s**t.
A flowing piss river with flakes of s**t.
Feeding all the worthless ******** fish in this godforsaken river.
The buzzing in my ******** head is louder.
It just gets so loud..
Life goes on..
I can sleep now.
Life goes on.
Sleeping comes easy now.
Life goes on.
I can stay sleeping for most of the night.
Life goes on.
My dreams are where I'm happy.
Life goes on.
I'm covered in it.
Life goes on.
The muck of the ******** universe.
Life goes on.
The mask I wear is screwed on so tight.
Life goes on.
But it's getting rusted.
Life goes on.
I was never meant to stay in one place for so long.
Life goes on.
It seems like the people I look up to end up dead.
Life goes on.
I'll forget them soon.
Life goes on.
They'll be placed with some sort of twisted moral.
Life goes on.
Morals I won't actually follow but ones I will like.
Life goes on.
I've started to punch things now.
Life goes on.
My knuckles are hard once again.
Life goes on.
THE BUZZING JUST GETS SO ******** LOUD.
Life goes on.
I haven't told anyone.
I probably won't.
I have no one I can really talk to these things about.
Life goes on.
I pushed them all away.
Life goes on.
I guess deep down I always preferred the buzzing.
Life goes on.