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So my mother has basically ******** me over, and has caused me to ******** you all over. She's SUCH a fickle person. ... Damnit. ... Okay, so, she basically was one minute going to do one thing, the next minute another thing. And it went like this all weekend, and though she'd SAID she was going to do all the net cable car gone crap on Monday, guess what? SHE DIDN'T. She changed her mind, and spiralled me into another suspense-thrilled evening, saying she wouldn't know anything until TODAY, 24 hours later than expected. AND THAT'S TO KNOW ANYTHING!!! She also a couple of times got really mad at me, and said that if she went chapter 7 (which she didn't), that I could just move on out already.

But point blank situation, she's not cutting anything off. I GET TO STAY! <3333 But still. It's a fecking LOT to go through, and to put me through, and probably just as much, if not more, on you guys. AND FOR THAT I AM SO SORRY! T.T I do seriously feel as though I've committed some terrible crime, but I had no control over it. Seriously, I thought I was going to be gone for a long time. She is extremely fickle, but I have to take each warning as if it's real. Sortof like a school fire drill/bomb scare. Whether it's real or not, and especially for the bomb scares, they have to evacuate and act as if it is, because you never know. And you never DO know with a person like my mother. ... So yeah. I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, sorry. And I'll make it up to all of you. I promise. I told myself that if I got to keep the net, at all, that I'd start doing all the things I didn't. That I'd show up more, RP more, do more, instead of being a lazy a** to everybody, because I realized through all of this how much you all mean to me.

I know it's probably not as big a deal to some of you, but to me it is, and I hope you'll realize that. I was sent into an emotional wreck state of being, and well, I just don't know. What I DO know is that I'm going to keep my word, and I hope that I shant be accused of being a liar/attention whore, because seriously, I'm not. I had a lot of time Monday to do a lot of thinking, and spent many hours literally crying in real life over things. Call me sad, or whatever. That's who I am. I am emotional sometimes, and don't do well under anxiety. What I'm, last but not least, hoping, by explaining this to you, is for your forgiveness. None of you deserved that, but I had to treat her words as if they were real. Thank you all so much for being there for me, for understanding, for caring, and I care about you all so much. I'm sorry...

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