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Well, perhaps things are actually getting better for me. I feel like I'm slowly waking up from some sort of dream. It wasn't a nightmare....but not a good dream either. I can look back on the days, when my box cutter blade was my best friend, and relive the emotions far too easily. I really want to put this all behind me, now that I know what it feels like to be 'sober' (I WAS addicted, afterall). However, that's not to say that just because I feel better, that things are all perfect in my life. That's something I dont think anyone can really achieve. But having admitted that, they are looking up. I still get really depressed and think things I probably shouldn't....but with the help of a few people....you all know who you are....I'm definately happier. smile biggrin xd