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[Dumbledore is in the middle of the stage]

Dumbledore: Since the recent death of Harry Potter, we will now have a funeral instead of another Yule Ball… Everyone will come up and say a few words. We’ll use the computater to see who goes first [The computater pops up and stays near Dumbledore] … it’s Neville Longbottem. [Neville comes on stage]
Neville: Harry was—

[Some one in the audience then yells]

Person: Avada Kedavra!

[Neville is now dead… he falls to the ground and “disappears”. Dumbledore being himself of course doesn’t notice that he has died and just thinks he left of sadness]

Dumbledore: Where’d he disappear to? Oh well… next we have… Cedric Diggory!
Cedric: I really really loved Harry—
Person: Avada Kedavra
Cedric: As I said before… I’m hot, hot guys do not die… [Pause] wait yes they do… damn it

[Cedric then falls to the ground and also “disappears”]

Dumbledore: Oh… poor Cedric… he couldn’t stand Harry’s death I guess… next up we have the Slytherin house
Draco: We all hated Harry, especially me. He never deserved to be in the Tri—
Person: Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra

[as each Avada Kedavra is said, a different Slytherin falls down and “disappears”]

Dumbledore: I didn’t realize they loved Harry so much… next we have the Ravenclaw house and Parvati Patil
Cho: I loved Harry with every ounce in my—
Person: Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra
Dumbledore: I’m really starting to get annoyed by this… everyone should just stay here when they are done… so anyway next is Lavender Brown
Lavender: Harry… you were my boyfriend’s best friend… hi Ron!
Ron: [From off stage] I hate you, Lavender!
Lavender: But we are meant for each—
Person: Avada Kedavra
Dumbledore: Finally she shut up about Ron… Next is Seamus and Dean
Dean: Harry, you were so great!
Seamus: That was beyond lame.
Dean: Ya… well… at least I’m not Irish!
Seamus: Ya… well… at least I’m not Black!
Dean: Ya… well… your mom—
Person: Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra
Dumbledore: The Weasley Family please come up here.
Fred: Hi… I’m George
George: And I’m Fred
Ginny: Stop it you two… Harry just died… and I really truly loved him—
Ron: And he was my best friend—
Person: Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra Avada Kedavra
Dumbledore: Where did they all disappear to? Well… Hermione… you are the last student to stay… why don’t you come and say some words.
Hermione: [in a crying voice] Harry, I didn’t have very many friends here…. But you were one of—
Person: Avada Kedavra
Dumbledore: Hey… where’d Hermione go? So McGonagall… do you have any words to say?
McGonagall: Harry… you defiantly were not one of my brighter stu—
Person: Avada Kedavra
Dumbledore: Where’d she go? Anyway… Snape.
Snape: The day you died was the happiest day on my life… you filthy little—
Person: Avada Kedavra
Dumbledore: Where does everyone keep going? Well I’m last one... Harry Potter—
Person: Avada Kedavra

[Umbridge then comes on stage… she was the one killing everyone]

Umbridge: Finally… I am ruler of the school!!!!

[Camera cuts]