Thinking of the previous IM conversation Rick and I had, it makes me sad to see the way he is now. We had a very good (Godly) discussion about things and it was wonderful for both of us. We both were really indepth and were spilling out our emotions about our different situations and problems, and we were both just being so open toward each other... and he said that he made a big breakthrough with the whole God-relationship thing, and how he got really close to Him. But when I see Rick now, it makes it look like that talk didn't ever happen. He's changed completely back to his old self (that's bad), and it worries me to know that he's with "friends" that really encourage his old self. I don't care that we're not back together, and probably never will be. I just wanted to plant a good seed for him, and then maybe have at least it in his mind...but I can see now, that it didn't... I just want to send that IM conversation to him, just so it makes him remember it. He was such an awesome Godly person around me, and I could just feel, almost touch God in him whenever I was around him. The thing I'm thinking of right now is, I just hate and can't stand seeing such a Godly person like him go to waste just because of either lust, friends, and just being a 'follower' that got so encouraged that he became an 'informer leader' by his friends. It's just annoying to know that he has such a good potential, and yet, because of his friends, he chooses the easy way (which turns into the harder way later on). I want to e-mail him, ask him if all of the talking we had, was it all crap? Was he just leading me on? I mean, I'm not talking about our relationship. I'm talking about the God relationship.
Short_stuff_dude · Sat Dec 16, 2006 @ 04:20am · 0 Comments |