Yes I'm mad right now and it has to do with my boyfriend, Neil. I know he won't be seeing this and don't want any of the people who know him to breathe a word of this journal entry to him.
When the Yugioh Regionals were being held at the beginning of the month. I wanted to go and would have had to go with Neil in order to play. However he never breathed a word about even suggesting that I go with him. Oh sure, a ******** fun time was had without me because he must enjoy it when his ball and chain of a fat girlfriend isn't around to hang off of him.
The following weekend I suppose he wanted to make it up to me for ignoring me and we went on a date. It was perfectly fine and I enjoyed it to the fullest because I got to be with the man I love. After the regionals, he told me that he would include in the days that he spends with my friends.
Of course he says it then when I'm with him, but then he goes and invites them over just on saturday. Thanks Blitz Lucien, for telling me basicaly that my boyfriend is a total a*****e to his own girlfriend.
What? Don't I have feelings? Doesn't he understand how much it hurts me? Do you enjoying saying things to me and doing the opposite. You do this to me just so you know that I'm in pain? I'd kill myself a hundred times ove rif you asked me to do it and you know this. I like to know that he still cares, but I never see him. It hurts me deep in my heart when I can't see him, hold him, or even hear his voice. I just know that the second I talk to him, I'll melt and forgive him. I'm weak when it comes to him, but I love him.
I love you Neil. Nothing will ever change that because it's the truest of words that I've ever spoken. If I ever lost you, I don't know how I'd continue living. Even now, it feels like I'm already dead since I don't have you around. You're the light that shines in my darkness. You are my life, my light, my soul, my heart. You're everything to me and yet now I feel as though I'm to you.
Please... I don't want to hurt anymore... If you don't want me around anymore, tell me I'll die out of your life for good.
ToonMistress · Mon Mar 26, 2007 @ 04:50am · 1 Comments |