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all i see is petrifying darkness,
surrounded by madness.
drunken screams,
mommy crying,
daddy angery,
love gone....

mommy left im alone,
her last words were i love you baby,
my last screams from daddys fists...

my boyfriend awesome as can be,
somtimes i feel hes the only key,

my boyfriend gone,
my heart is numb,
the little b***h who kissed him in front of me,
a witch from hell...

im completely alone now,
alcohol and drugs my only loves,
my friends dont even care for me,
telling the preps all my secrets too get back at me...

why am i hated?
why am i alone?
did i do somthing wrong being born?

i guess so considering no one cares,
of the rape i bear.....

no one cares about me,
i feel numb, used, broken, violated, and depressed....

GOD please im calling out,
get rid of the pain get rid of the doubt!

alone tortured by madness,
and the fact I alone know this sadness....

i reach for the knife,
i hold it up too my neck looking at my mothers picture remembering my life...

crying not knowing what to do,
watching the blood drip on my shoe...

now i am cold and i feel a sense of vertigo,
i dont want to die god i dont know where to go....

all i wanted was help mom...
all i wanted was a chance...

as i collapse to the floor,
the last thought i have is my mom,
crying and dieing i lay...
why do the good have too pay...

i cant move ive lost so much blood,
i slowly let go in this flood...
as my heart shuts down like a bomb...
i cry out mom....


My Suicide Note.