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today felt terrible. it sucks when you can only trust one person, and you can't even see her. its even worse when she hates you, doesn't believe you when you say i love you. and its confusing because she's acting so cheerfully about it. its like some one wanting revenge. its one thing if some one toys with you, its another if its your girl friend, which you love to death and you've been with them for about a year. a toy... its like your a toy, your to be used to make the user happy and you can't fight it(your a toy you can't help it). to be fiddled with, to make the owner smile, mostly at your poor situation. your in the palm of their hand, and they know it, and they use it. and your scared, you don't now whats going on, and even thourgh your furious at her, you still love and don't want her to leave, good bad, whatever, i just want to be with her. then, at the end of the day, she says sorry and acts like her normal sweet self. the same person who was gunning you down when you said i love you was now saying it to you. what can you do, "its okay" i said. i love her sooo much, i don't need, or want to hurt her, even if she deserves it. of course..... one can't help but wonder..... am i still being manipulated? does she know how i feel? does she even care...... i do, thats all that matters. be sides im sure thats not what she was thinking, the only reason im thinking this is because of someone else, i am mostly sure that she isn't like that. i would know, wouldn't i?