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My previous situation is under control. Not like anyone cares because its not like anyone really reads my journal but it doesn't matter because I had to sit myself down and ask myself do I want to spend the rest of my life with him? Would I do anything in the world with him? Would I give up any other guy to be with him? And questions of that sort and the answer was yes everytime and I came to the conclusion that yes I love being loved who doesn't? Its a great feeling to know that someone out there truely cares about you and really wants to be with you, but I also love Chris. I just let my thoughts get clogged with outside sources. When I said it to my friends I felt like they didn't believe me. When I said certain things to him, he wouldn't believe me. I guess I stopped believing myself. Plus I did what I said what I wasn't going to do anymore. I compared him to 225. They are two completly different people like me and my sister. I love them both very very much but in different ways. 225 was my first love and I will always love him. He was very special to me. Chris is also very special to me. He is one of the most important if not thee most important person in my life right now. He is what keeps me happy and together. If it weren't for him, I would probably be in a very bad place right now. A place that was in last year. Lots of tears and a near eating disorder. I can talk to him. And thats what I did today. We talked. And that always makes us closer and stronger than we were before. Its exhausted to death but communication is the key to great relationships.