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"Today I saw my hero fall apart
The one who taught me to be strong
On the outside I am fine
But on the inside I am dying"

This is a lyric from a song by Papa Roach that can barely describe even a tidbit of what I have been feeling for over the past month. I could define life in a thousand different ways...all of which contain inappropriate language. So since this site is rated PG-13 I will do my best to keep the explicit content to myself and keep it as clean as I can bare. First off, I feel like I just got spit out of the sewers. I'm very sick, coughing up a lung, and heavily medicated with severe cold medicines. I do believe that my doctor prescribed me drugs because I think the reason why it feels really weird to walk is because it is an effect from the medication. And we all know that stress is bad for you...oh yes. But with three projects, SATs, a couple essays, homework overload, and parental units that expect you to be the next Einstein...it's not that easy. And according to my mother, I'm not going to have a "victorious life". Why? Because apparently I'm not filled with the holy spirit stare She also tells me that my dreams, who I am, who I'll be and what not...it's all not up to me...it's up to God. So what, am I a puppet just existing to do what he wants? Why do we have to follow the single path of Christianity to be successful? In my opinion...that's all messed up. Oh, who could forget that annoying dude that rides my bus...he's been asking for a fatal injury for months. After a long painful week when he decided it'd be fun to slap me across the head a few times, he wound up with a deep bite mark and large bruise on his head. Sophomore year has been full of drama...drama drama drama. It's like a series of mini soap operas! And what do you wind up with in the end? A corpse...that's right, "the pack" is dead...and has been for a long time. My family has ceased to exist, the closest thing to a home I've ever had has been dissintegrated. I don't look up to my parents, I have no older siblings, no role models, and I never found that one best friend I had dreamed I'd find (don't get me wrong though, I love my friends...I just never found that one friend that'd always be there and...ah, I could go at it for hours on what person I hoped I'd meet). So when there's a black hole in the pit of your stomach, slowly tearing you away from the inside out...where do you turn?

Cause of Death: Loneliness